1986 coolest kid

@ananavarro We are rotten as humans, if we cant respect each other’s right to live and all we do is use power to hurt, we will destroy ourselves.

No words.

@DarkestPoe @pattonoswalt

@RexChapman This reminds me of politics in Puerto Rico

@aliamjadrizvi 😂

🧐

What can’t we predict?

@ananavarro They dont cover their feet or their face

Why is it anti-maskers are always wearing chancletas?

I already memorized #EurovisionMovie song

The thing about difficult times is that people’s true colors come out. This a great time to evaluate who you support and who you spend time with. #2020 #DaskestTimeline #Pandemic # #Dontforgettovote #ThereisStillGoodOutThere

Why does history keep repeating itself?

@ParZevil My life

@kiraeileens The biggest sin is those white shoes...😂

Today as we mark Cinco de Mayo, grab a margarita and celebrate that Donald Trump is not Latino. Gracias a Dios.

Paradise lost: Florida deputies have arrested a man who had been living out his quarantine on a shuttered Disney World island. He told authorities it felt like a “tropical paradise,” and didn't know it was off-limits despite "no trespassing" signs. apne.ws/DqOHLA3

@pattonoswalt @ChuckWendig Some may say a CATS sequel would be deadlier than the hornets

Murder hornets. Sure thing, 2020. Give us everything. Hypno-frogs. Fecal blizzards. Toilet tsunamis. A CATS sequel. We can take it. nytimes.com/2020/05/02/us/…

@johnhaydenmpls I bet the mouse wished he was in the trap

I used one of those humane traps because I'm a humane guy. Did not turn out so well in the end...

My neighbour with big boobs has been gardening topless all day. I just wish his wife would do the same. #worldnakedgardeningday

So I was out today and somebody saw my clothes, helmet and elliptigo and they said “hey do you work for T-Mobile” and I said ..I run T-Mobile, no I don’t, I, well, I just love T-Mobile..he looked at me strangely and said..”oh, mmm, bye” .. I need new clothes or a better answer :)

@jw_lowery @PracheeAC @YSPTSPS Yep

@PracheeAC @YSPTSPS Had a French 75 for the first time last night - wow! Probably my new favorite cocktail.

What do you have tonight @YSPTSPS? I’ve got a Bennett cocktail: 2 parts gin 1 part lime 1/2 part simple syrup generous splash bitters