ｃｈａｒｎｌｅｙ

8.6K posts

ｃｈａｒｎｌｅｙ

@dankcharnley

Writer • Classically Trained Comedian • Divorced Magician • Cowardly Fraud • Poet Warlord • Sinner • Creature • Avid Reader of Smut • Rib Sauce Judge

✈️ Katılım Mayıs 2015

8.5K Takip Edilen9.9K Takipçiler

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ｃｈａｒｎｌｅｙ@dankcharnley·19 Mar

your password must contain a character... with a tragic backstory

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ｃｈａｒｎｌｅｙ@dankcharnley·3d

my neck tattoo says "eternal" - it is misspelled, but the meaning remains

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236

ｃｈａｒｎｌｅｙ@dankcharnley·6d

Superhero name idea: Arachnid Avenger

Filipino

213

ｃｈａｒｎｌｅｙ@dankcharnley·26 Nis

my demon Trevor is lactose intolerant and deeply into crystals. what a diva

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134

ｃｈａｒｎｌｅｙ@dankcharnley·26 Nis

@realcuckoosnest 😂😂😂😂

QME

One flew over@realcuckoosnest·26 Nis

@dankcharnley Please forgive me in advance as there is no excuse for what I am about to do

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ｃｈａｒｎｌｅｙ@dankcharnley·26 Nis

stubbed my toe on the sofa and confessed sins i had not yet committed

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ｃｈａｒｎｌｅｙ@dankcharnley·26 Nis

My therapist asked where I see myself in five years. I said, “Haunting a Red Lobster.” He said “Me too." Then we kissed.

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209

ｃｈａｒｎｌｅｙ retweetledi

Maria Helena@mhcoutinho_48·26 Nis

Rafael ( Italian Master, 1483-1520): “Heads and Hands of the Apostles”, 1519/20.

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Ramin Nasibov@RaminNasibov·26 Nis

Art by Isabel Emrich

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ｃｈａｒｎｌｅｙ@dankcharnley·26 Nis

saw a rat in Baltimore wearing a crown of human teeth and screamed in the key of F

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ｃｈａｒｎｌｅｙ@dankcharnley·26 Nis

updating my résumé using bark, blood, and a crayon i got from Denny's

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ｃｈａｒｎｌｅｙ@dankcharnley·26 Nis

My pantry contains seven types of vinegar and no joy.

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413

ｃｈａｒｎｌｅｙ@dankcharnley·26 Nis

i can hear my McRib weeping - i believe it mourns my ambition

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ｃｈａｒｎｌｅｙ@dankcharnley·26 Nis

my earbuds tangled in what i call "The Widow’s Snare” so i buried them in my accessory cemetary

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ｃｈａｒｎｌｅｙ@dankcharnley·26 Nis

etching my thoughts in blood upon a napkin from Arby’s

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ｃｈａｒｎｌｅｙ@dankcharnley·26 Nis

I thought I was in a gang once, but it turned out to be the line at Chipotle.

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ｃｈａｒｎｌｅｙ@dankcharnley·22 Nis

@JasonSellers32 @McDonalds 😂😂😂👌👌

QME

ｃｈａｒｎｌｅｙ retweetledi

Rock Bottom@JasonSellers32·22 Nis

How about a Haiku? Sauce on a soft bun, Pickles, onions, boneless pork, Gone until next year. @McDonalds I deserve yearly Mcribs.

ｃｈａｒｎｌｅｙ@dankcharnley

Women say they want mystery, but not “wrote a sonnet about the McRib” mystery.

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324

ｃｈａｒｎｌｅｙ@dankcharnley·22 Nis

Me: “He who finds a wife finds a good thing 😇 Proverbs 18:22” Her: “You also liked 14 of my bikini pics.” Me: “The Lord works in mysterious ways.”

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159

ｃｈａｒｎｌｅｙ@dankcharnley·22 Nis

adding "thicc boi" to my LinkedIn profile

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204

Keşfet

@realcuckoosnest @JasonSellers32 @McDonalds @elonmusk @BarackObama @taylorswift13 @cristiano @BillGates