Simon Stratford™

A smartwatch from the 1980s

@PollySissy2 @BBCLondonNews Its not a suggestion most are funded this way—scary I know.

@BBCLondonNews Surely an air ambulance is an essential piece of emergency equipment and not dependent on a royal and a rich footballer giving handouts ? Are the BBC suggesting that this is how our emergency services are now funded ?

Ex-footballer David Beckham has explained how he was "excited and proud" to help Prince William raise money for the London Air Ambulance service. bbc.in/3BoBcNr

@BBCLondonNews What has Beckham done to his look? He looks odd but can't put my finger on it? Eyebrows?

@BBCLondonNews Boom!

Staff must be given 100% of tips from customers under a new law which bans businesses from withholding gratuity payments. bbc.in/47QD1Pi

@BGatesIsaPyscho A person should be able to age how they like without posts like this.

Pamela Anderson last night aging gracefully. Madonna could learn a thing or two.

@bushontheradio Also people with iPhones with map on asking me how to get to where they are going? Just use the map! Its right there telling you where to go!

I've decided to draw a series of pictures chronicling the worst types of public behaviour. Any others I should draw?

@bushontheradio People who think I should always move out of the way for them. I'm not the one on my phone! Look where you are going!

@Jcheunginhin I would have sat on him until he moved. You were the better person

Behold the men who wouldn’t let me sit in my own reserved seat today so they could do their Important Business. FYI am on my way to Oxford to do unconscious bias training.

@JamesReform Stop posting the same out tripe and get your own oppinions

This is what a system no longer fit for purpose looks like.

@TheBardOfAnlaby Oh dear!

Woooah, woooah, wooooah, we've all had a drink. Let's calm down a bit.....x.com/cuxntyboy/stat…

@WestminsterWAG Define bad tweet? I get the frustration, but it’s not that simple. #ThinkBeforeSpeak

You can go to jail for a bad tweet, but if you pay for images of little children having unspeakable things done to them, it’s a suspended sentence. #thiscountryisfucked

Watching #Nightsleeper on the BBC – on what planet do our trains ever look like that? I mean, really. Have they even been on a train?

Got a picture that I took this morning on BBC local news @bbcweather

Check out Retro Pifco 971 Gooseneck desk lamp in Beige mid-20th-century lighting design ebay.co.uk/itm/1347350059… #eBay via @eBay_UK

What did I just watch? Star Wars x AI Mind blown, creative humans using AI to dream up a very different Star Wars. By @douggypledger & @osymyso

Stewart Lee called it a long time ago. #Dispatches #RussellBrand

A lot of horrible people on Twitter are going to get sued for their spectacularly wrong, but spectaculary confident guesses.

@barelyhiker @CreativeMarket Take a closer look; missing categories suggested searches that show no results—shop owners left scratching their heads why their income has tanked.

congrats for the new look @CreativeMarket , looks so fresh and clean. #creativemarket #neuwebz

Home. In fact it’s come home. A sentence I thought I’d never write. I’ve gone. Thank you Lionesses.

Rishi Sunak needs to stop interrupting, and I'm saying that even though the person he's interrupting is Liz Truss and she's talking utter shite.