Jacob Coffman

I wouldn’t drink drive but Tiger Wood

Liam Rosenior and his boys would have ruined my weekend by now

That is the last thing I want to know

Pissed off at work cos the BDMs aren’t updating CRM. I used to take exams still drunk how have I aged 10 years in 1 year.

Arsenal are bottling it I pray they’re not getting my hopes up

Dipping nuggets in sauces you can’t even pronounce 🤑💸

Dodgy stick has jokes now???

Liam Rosenior and Callum Macfarlen feel like my two gay dads

@Moorcuss Recently?

I've actually been eating nothing but garbage recently

Chelsea ruined our 2026 just hours into 2026

Last night I witnessed John Lennon make a 67 joke

I can’t believe the sugar levy is being extended to milkshakes, we’re being taxed out the yazoo

@Moorcuss Drop the fit pic

Bought some loose fit pants, and they are not the vibe

@charlottehm21 @Moorcuss Just lazy

@jacobcoffman04 @Moorcuss Are you dim?

People actually employ people to clean an oven 🥀🥀🥀

RIP Q Club 👼🕊️

I wanna go to the pub with Curtis Sliwa so bad

We’re so back

@Moorcuss Have you tried actually working out instead of tweeting? You might like it

Not even 19:00, and there's a grand total of 1 (one) person in this gym. No wonder i do not enjoy this gym

Guy next to me at work eats 3 bananas a day, didn’t know I was working with curious George.