Mattwindwalker

A boogie came out of my nose onto my shirt and when I tried to pull my shirt so it would fly off, it flew back into my nose No moral, but know- this can happen

11.22.2024 The Best F**king Show Lineup TBA thecommodore.fourthwalltickets.com/shows/the-best…

Join singer-songwriter @mattwindwalker under the stars in a free #LIVEandLOCAL concert on our Riverwalk Stage on Nov. 9.

capital Riots (This is a good joke)

Me, the head nurse at the Senior center, going over the day's schedule: depends on the women, depends on the men. Also murder the one's that ask.

Look I get it you buy 1 bottle of baby oil, you buy 2, then you have 1,000- it's a slippery slope

Tbh- Puff Daddy sounds like a guy who would have 1,000 bottles of baby oil

Why do I feel bad for the otter😭

@JimJarmuschHair What an outrage! This is not quite as sexy as the Dune bucket: 2/10

I bought the AMC BEETLEJUICE BEETLEJUICE themed drink. It cost $31 dollars…

Just realized this is X now. They should have named it Y- like Y am I on here again! #veryfunny #comedygold

Shoot- this is not Meta- this is Twitter.

I mean Meta

I am officially back on Facebook