G(⁠✿⁠ ⁠♡)🇯🇵🇱🇷

@upshine3 You used a small lie to ensure you’d always know the big truth. It’s morally gray, highly effective, and 100% genius.

I told my daughter that when she lies her eyes turned a different color. Now she squeezes her eyes shut every time she lies…and my job just became a whole lot easier

@notgwendalupe Her vocal range and intensity was off the scale!

26 years ago, Whitney Houston & Enrique Iglesias released 'Could I Have this Kiss Forever'

@Elladeyforyou Moms are incredible people.

She had 9 kids by the time she was 28 years old 😯

@MbarkCherguia That's a lot of make up!

Can we get some facts about men like this?

@_6signxxx "Twenty dollars to get into a club? We can dance at home for free!" - Julius the Frugal

Julius easily. He once said, “Unplug the clock, boy — you can’t tell time when you’re sleeping. That’s 2 cents an hour.”

@alphafox Oookayyy you clearly spent a lot of money but....this was not one of your best ideas.

Looksmaxxing - final boss: 🥴

@alphafox Yeah that's a face mask. You clearly need a forehead mask for all that extra real estate.

The mask isn’t big enough: 😭

@wakeupyoshi Mid flight?! I know they got co-pilots but I am still going to be praying till those plane wheels touch good old solid ground. Next time please do that before we take off? Just in case we needed to switch planes. Thank you.

imagine watching him walk back to the cockpit if she said no 😭

@Pplwith1IQ It's crazy how the sketch lacks a lot facial details but still easily looks like him.

Damn thats a perfect match 🤣

@nocontextmemes Their offsprings are going bring the zombie apocalypse.

@roxie_ug At some point in the future, people are going to look back at Pornhub archives and be like, "The good old days, those guys were decent.''

Y’all remember when Nicki Minaj’s anaconda was the most explicit video on the internet? we were so innocent back then 😂😂

@best_clips__ Bro slapped him into the middle of 2065.

And he was never seen again...

@kendrrw Half dry clothes have a terrible odour when you wear them like that. Not done anything like that since school days when we didn't remember to wash them till Sunday night!

please and please if your clothes didn’t dry, don’t wear them

@HumansNoContext Sure, he would eventually land on the floor by Christmas.

Legend says he's still falling

@BroWire_ Yeah, people who come in overtly aggressive and dramatic are usually overcompensating for some sort of weakness and trying to be sneaky. Not surprised he lost so quickly tbh.

All that just to lose in seconds.

Whose going to miss you if you don't wake up tomorrow morning?

@TansuYegen He's going to be so traumatised he's never going to touch a bottle again for the rest of his life.

Friends staged a funeral prank for a heavy drinker, he bought it until his dad snapped him awake with a slap 👋

@WeakandFrayle So that's what it's called and that's the function...? Interesting....

nvm cock rings are goated that made me spray like a sprinkler

@BRICSinfo Just keeps getting better....

JUST IN: Scientists have found that hantavirus may survive in human sperm for up to six years.

@kings_anyi Close combat with knives or machetes are always brutal.

The most brut@l fight scene I've ever seen. Bruh 🔥