Rae, Rocky, Roach, Rockle

All hgtv men know is modern, industrial, craftsman, and lie

Her: look at the view, it’s beautiful Me: you are 🙂‍↕️

My bf is chronically online so this is how I have to communicate with him. It’s tough, but we persevere.

@Roysenotes You have a gf now? Unfollowing 😒

being in a relationship is so sick. i just called my girlfriend to talk about hot dogs

@kellykeegs The tv itself is fine (menu is a bit slow to change inputs) but the remote broke after 3 months and I’ve been waiting an additional 3 to get Samsung customer service to successfully send a new one 😤😤😤

Does anyone have that Samsung frame TV and is it worth it

@andrealongchu @silktanktop A family friend of my long distance bf was asking me something about him and was like “sorry do you say boyfriend or partner” I was like…ma’am we live in different countries…hes my partner in literally nothing lol

@gamerwarcrimes I have one so I have someone to rebel against

people who have the water bottles with little messages at the measurement marks also need their mommy to say here comes the airplane and feed them when it’s supper time

@closetklepto I thought I missed an announcement for a moment there!

Telling people “I’m such a Mary Sue🤭🫣🤫” in a self deprecating tone so they know I’m humble but also perfect and the main character

Four of you liked this, but the joke doesn’t actually make sense :)

@bocxtop To be fair, when I was in France all of them just asked me about Texas and cowboys. When I said I was from Colorado though, one guy just responded “horses” and walked away.

so funny how ppl gas up random parts of europe imagine if someone from france was like wow so spectacular...wyoming

@Rubyfox730 @mayahorizons I actively played this game as an 8 year old and was not traumatized by it or felt bad because…. It was a game? I don’t think you’re giving children enough credit.

@mayahorizons Yeah, I’d love for kids to feel terrible about themselves too

i want mean comments in the new animal crossing update

Carefully explaining to the other millennials that while I do use Snapchat still its not because Im gen Z its because Im in a stable long distance relationship of two years and this is how I see his face regularly which is actually very millennial like when you think about it so-

Wish I had a socialist teacher in HS. I just had a math teacher who said we should have public executions again 😔

However, one month later I began noticing wrinkles begin to form so

I actually felt my prefrontal cortex become fully developed like the ding of a toaster. Suddenly, I was no longer bonkers

Rewatching Normal People to feel something (repressed and horny)

I nannied for a lawyer who said she never rewatches a movie/show or rereads a book because it’s a “waste of time” like we were on a sitcom about busy working mothers

Almost wrote 2014 as the date. Been repressing things.

@cake_hoarder Look at his shirt and his reverse pupils.

who are the biggest weed smokers in animal crossing?

@alwaysmadisonny Wow I can feel the sag in your chart with this one tweet

my hobby is vibing or the 300 things i learned for 1-2 weeks and never did man idk what to tell you.

if i have to tell one more man my “hobbies” I’m officially going celibate