rob corddry

@OliviaMesser I’ll be quoting this enough to convince myself it’s an original thought and that I’m a genius

this is one of those horrifyingly clear moments in history when you immediately know everything has changed but you can’t see how yet

Hey! My buddy (and huge D&D nerd) Todd Stashwick is doing a very cool multimedia experience, celebrating dark fantasy from the 70s and 80s. Go to progcorefantasy.com help make this fantasy a reality.

Ok seems like you guys are finally on board with the Ninja stuff. So this a great time to mention that I’m opening a Ninja Dojo. It’s called “Rob Corddry’s Fucking Ninja Academy”. Come prepared to run.

Ok I’ve read your comments and yeah, Ninjas hide well. But you tell me smart guy…How do they get from hiding place to hiding place? They run, pal. No one else is talking about this

Been a minute but I thought this was worth it. Sorry if this is controversial but here it is… Being a ninja? It’s a lot of running. It’s pretty much only running. That’s it. Sorry if I triggered you or whatever

My highly anticipated episode of Howard Stern Show trivia podcast, The Noine is out today. I got all the same questions wrong except title of theme song. That’s just embarrassing podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the…

My 17yo walks in wearing their Karate Gi… 17yo: I just figured it out. The Infinity Stones are the Elements of Harmony! Same thing! 15yo: Then Twilight Sparkle is Thanos. 17yo: I was thinking Princess Celestia. Me: Either way, you are both ready for the next level of training…

My sister Laura was supposed to give a TedX Talk last week. She didn’t make it. But it’s important that you have the chance to read it. To see life, as she said, “through the lens that was thrust upon her.” So here it is. I miss you Laura. tedxamoskeagmillyard.com/blog/laura-cor…

Introducing the winner of Jack Link's Ultimate Meat Roast fantasy football punishment... Passive Income! Only week 7 and I’m dying to roast this 12-man league from the South but I have to wait until someone LOSES. @JackLinks Stay tuned…#ad

@JJimmyRustler @AndrewSiciliano He might if they mix the audio better. Hanson is barely louder than game announcers. And editing is jarring. He’s not given the opportunity to “own it”

@robcorddry @AndrewSiciliano Oh I know I'm not wrong. Nothing against Anthony, he does a fine job, but something about Chris, he really owns the Red Zone coverage. #Cheers

An apology to @AndrewSiciliano : I took you for granted and I’m so so sorry An apology to NFL’s Red Zone Channel: I’m sorry I hate you so much. You’re just a channel, trying to get by like the rest of us. But let’s tighten it up huh?

@JJimmyRustler @AndrewSiciliano I won’t tell you why you’re wrong because I don’t want to ruin your experience. Let’s leave it at… I’m jealous of you

@robcorddry @AndrewSiciliano Chris Hanson version is better. #Octobox

I was one of those people who couldn’t access Direct TV’s NFL Red Zone channel but it’s finally working… if this is what you call working. I have notes.

@robcorddry I asked @robcorddry a very simple question: does every comedian have the skills to rise to the skills to rise to the challenge of leadership, or is Zelensky just special? open.substack.com/pub/ez/p/15-mi…

As the reigning champ of one of my four leagues (see wicked huge trophy), I’m excited to partner with @jacklinksjerky for the Ultimate Meat Roast where I’ll hurt this LOSER’s feelings at a live comedy roast. Enter your league today through Sept. 7 for a chance to win the meaty punishment at jacklinksmeatroast.com #ad

My wife makes up songs when she does stuff. Like “I Will Always Love Fruit” and her latest hit “Cutting this Cucumber”

14yo: My camp counselor asked me if I really said that stuff in all your tweets Me: You did. 14yo: Why don’t you do that anymore? Me: That’s on you pal. Say some funny shit! Time is money, let’s go!

REST IN PEACE IRON SHIEK. I LOVE YOU. HATE ALL THE JABRONIS