Republic of Slowjamastan

Watch ABC News feature here: youtu.be/EQxTh2IfK1Q

@pauloftartaria Third photo.

@slowjamastan What’s a sandmarine?

Citizen Bryan has experienced peak existence. He witnessed the sacred grounds of future aviation supremacy, honored a national monument of unquestionable importance, and boarded the legendary SandMarine. This is not “a good day.” This is the standard all citizens must now aspire to. Does life get better? Negative. This is maximum achievement.

Following the glorious broadcast of American journalist @JeffNews8, @CBS8 comrades @NedaNews and @EricNews8 engaged in standard post-report chatter, but their dangerous remarks revealed suspicious tolerance for Crocs and they have been placed under immediate observation by the Ministry watchlist. #slowjamastan #nocrocs #micronation #micronations #sultan

@Kevin_W_Barron @Crocs We'll bring this to Parliament on Tuesday. Thank you for your vigilance.

@slowjamastan - Are these banned, like @Crocs ?

Enemies be advised: The Sultan you see is merely decoy vessel of supreme deception. Body doubles deployed daily to confuse, exhaust, and spiritually demoralize opposition forces. Only on Thursday does the true Sultan emerge. Plan accordingly. Or suffer accordingly.

Citizen violators shall report at sunrise for Desert Purification Duty. Armed only with inadequate tools and unwavering state supervision, they will clean the sacred sands of Slowjamastan—grain by grain—until perfection is achieved or morale is restored. There are many grains. The State has time.

@adamcarolla we want you as a citizen…The Sultan has requested we reach out to you.

Citizens of the nation, this Sunday night history is made as we launch our very first YouTube LIVE. You will report for duty, witness the broadcast, and experience glory in real time. #slowjamastan #sultan #porderbatrol #micronation #ocotillowells

@NedaNews You did not strike us as a Croc supporter. Yet here you stand. You are now under observation for anti-Slowjamastan rhetoric. Proceed carefully. Just kidding – thanks for the love! ;)

Cactus Cooler has been declared the unofficial soft drink of Slowjamastan. It now waits only for the glorious sponsorship blessing of the powerful comrades at @KeurigPepper We’re looking at you, @drewpanayiotou Let this alliance be forged. For the nation. For the @cactuscooler #slowjamastan #micronation #ocotillowells #cactuscooler #zevelyzone

The law is clear. The Croc is forbidden. The Croc is defeated. @JeffNews8 chose to test the will of the nation… he fooler around and found out. 🇵🇼 #slowjamastan #croclife #micronation #ocotillowells #sultan

Once again, The Sultan infiltrates the American media... Tune in to the news tonight (Thursday) on @CBS8 after the basketball game, then report back to channel 8 tomorrow morning at 6:45AM for further glorious transmission.

Citizens gather. Questions will be answered. Announcement will be delivered. This Sunday on YouTube LIVE with The Sultan—attendance is not optional. RSVP: youtube.com/live/JkfOtZ9Ho…

This Thursday, American media turns its lens toward the glorious Republic of Slowjamastan. Will they broadcast truth… or continue their campaign of anti-Slowjamastan rhetoric? You are closest to greatness — you will see for yourself. cc: @JeffNews8 @CarloNews8 @ALaurelNews

PART 2: AAmerican law enforcement stands in stunned silence, witnessing the unmatched technological supremacy of glorious Slowjamastan—many take notes, some salute, all are impressed. #slowjamastan #chp #kingtaco #sultan #police @ElCentroCHP @CHPAlerts @InterceptorsTV @HighwayCops

Comrade Earl, glorious congratulations on securing your official Slowjamastan passport. The Ministry celebrates your wise decision and welcomes you deeper into the proud, Croc-free embrace of the motherland.

After the game Thursday night, all citizens will tune to @CBS8 San Diego as Slowjamastan advances its glorious takeover of American media via @JeffNews8 —attendance is mandatory. #slowjamastan #micronation #zevelyzone #ocotillowells #sultan @ALaurelNews

@ALaurelNews Comrade Anna Laurel, The Republic of Slowjamastan extends highest gratitude for your unwavering support of our proud nation and your courageous stand in the righteous war against Crocs. Your voice strengthens the movement. Your loyalty will not be forgotten. With great appreciation,
The Sultan 🇵🇼

@CarloNews8 Your fairness, support, and excellent judgment do not go unnoticed—The Republic thanks you and recognizes your honorable service. The nation will be watching…