'Davros' Morgan

Photography is weird, man.

Excuse me, I am just trying to do my job, ma’am, please refrain from using that language.

When your girl is hungry but her lipstick is flawless.

What a catfish is saying by blocking you...

When your posts constantly get stolen for Instagram and go viral. Seems fair. 🐸☕️

Missed the golden opportunity for a pun there, man. I mean there’s a computer in the bloody shot.

Think it might be a bit obvious which cabinet I hid the skittles in.

Pretty sure some people could get hit by a parked car on here. 😂

Went to the hospital. Told them I had a problem with an unwanted toenail. They didn’t get the joke.

I love life hacks. This is the best one. So you’re telling me all I have to do is cut up a bottle, glue it to an orange, beat the orange out of it for five minutes and I get 10ml of juice?! IF ONLY MORE PEOPLE KNEW!

Some kid sent me his music. It sucks. But his rhyming scheme reminded me of a scene in a movie. Please enjoy my vastly improved remix. 😂

Can someone explain to me why my town’s new supermarket chain has no doors at the front?

Sharon Osborne's kids look like Sharon Osborne in really bad disguises. Got a family picture like an Eddie Murphy movie. 😂

I'm not even trying to be clever with replies anymore. I just don't care about your "twettes", you "twattes". 😂

I hate when guys write "you're so pretty why so much make up" on pics. Like, you're already fat Josh, why so much cake? Mind your business.

"11 herbs and spices." I am shooketh.

Every white girl in October...

When your girl is mad at you for real. But she's still your girl so it's adorable...which makes her even angrier.

So @LidlUK take people who've insulted them online and give them free stuff to prove them wrong. This has got to be worth a shot. 😬

I beg your pardon...😳 What I do in the privacy of my home is my business, Twitter. Sick freaks.