Ałysså

This is how I look when I’m trying to find a cigarette at a wedding

David Guetta spotting his daughter in the crowd at Coachella is too wholesome

this is my version of an egot

for anyone unfamiliar with american horror story this is like if rihanna returned to music

What a strange coincidence that popular party music from the time I was 16-22 turned out to be the best music ever made. Guess we really lucked out on that one

i love it when i stump the IT guy. haha you thought this would be a quick ticket. just remote in, click one button, and make me look like a fool. but alas, i have fucked things up more than you could've imagined

Man no one even remembers laptop in bed. It was laptop in bed for years. Now it's just phone in bed. Maybe tablet. But usually phone. So much has changed.

Alright i’m officially unc

bumming a cigarette when you're drunk on a night out

Half way through this, when does the gay sex start?

I’m addicted to how they treat me at Ace Hardware

Mango tastes like it’s serious about being a fruit

my fav part of grocery shopping is seeing what kind of fucked up new shit the psychos at Oreo have come up with

twitter is cigarette for the eyes

A priest just blessed the field with Holy Water

socialist lyny be like "everybody in OUR section"

have we ever figured out why dove makes chocolate AND body wash

I’m coming out as pro mall I love shopping in physical stores and trying things on and feeling the material and walking around with multiple bags from different stores and getting a little snack at the food court

KENNETH GAINWELL PLAY OF THE YEAR. (via @NFL)

next week randomly being thanksgiving