Beth Carden

At this time of year, it’s professional shoppers only. My mum trained me up from 14, my brother was never allowed. You simply cannot be bringing your 3 kids, husband and mum-in-law to tesco I’m afraid.

Lost my car chapstick so now my bag chapstick is in my car & I had to replace it with my nightstand chapstick so now everything is a fucking mess.

Unpopular opinion but Breaking Bad is one of the most overrated series ever, i tried watching it three times but couldnt even complete two episodes, people only pretend to like it because its famous but in reality its one of the most boring series ever..

Just doing my bit for the community by reminding everyone what a nasty piece of work Ferne McCann really is behind that fake smile and giggling about fuck all. #ThisMorning

the person i see in the self checkout camera is not who i am in my heart

Just a reminder for Christmas this year... if your birth year starts with a 19, wrap your presents on a table and not the floor...

the way the concept of “home clothes” is foreign to some people is wild, what do you mean you don’t change into home clothes as soon as you come in from outside??

theres no bigger test of patience than typing your fucking email address in on a tv with the remote

i’ve started rejecting all cookies instead of accepting them. idek what it means but i’ve had enough

PE in High School was insane bc wdym I just ran a mile, have 5 minutes to go to change & refresh, & now I have to sit in Math class for an hour???????????????????

The fact that someone looked straight at a purple onion and named it red onion really bothers me.

hate when you forget about an onion or a potato in your pantry and it becomes Evil

I’m so glad as a generation we all agreed to stop ironing our clothes

sweet caroline was already one of the worst songs ever, but people adding that unnecessary "so good! so good!" really cements as an all-time Imbecile Anthem