poopfartbutt

girl you gotta try this healing potion it's called beer

i always need to pee but it's just because my heart is so big it pushes on my bladder

you can tell a person’s in a very dark place when a fortune cookie means a lot to them

I'm at work Does anyone feel bad for me

Best friends should be able to apply to jobs together and get hired as a set

Dating is so fun when they aren’t evil like wait yeah

this the weather you take a bad bitch like me to get ice cream in

i love caring. i’m gonna do it all the time

Can you feel me looking at your location on find my friends, do you feel like there’s an angel watching over you

They should invent a person who approaches you at a bar that you actually want to talk to

I’m in trouble I’m an addict I’m addicted to this girl

"i love your eyes" you're about to steal the light out of them aren't you

ur days are lowkey numbered, bro

Lying on the driveway like a dead bug

Please dont make me pay rent im beautiful

can’t take it anymore

before we end things can u change my car oil

I don’t wanna pay my phone bill this month just call me on instagram yall

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