Breezy

when you finally made it to payday after living off $4.99 for the past 2 weeks

hmu if you wanna do both

Admit it, folks. It’s inevitable lol. #Postseason

everything feels nice without protection

You’re in your mid 20s. No house, no wife, no kids. Not even close to any of them either.

Mr.Beast is at my house rn and he said first two hoes who get here get $10k

plans for today:

i want a girlfriend so she can make me do shit like pottery and i act like i don’t want to go

Idc if we’re beefing, if you wanna go see a movie with me lemme know im down ill put the beef aside for cinema 💯

Coworker: “How was your long weekend? What’d you get up to?” Me:

Just yelled "Run the damn ball" outta nowhere. Getting some reps in for tomorrow

Saturdays for the foreseeable future 8 AM 💦🍆✊🏼 9 AM 📺👴🏻 10 AM 📺👴🏻 11 AM 📺👴🏻 12 PM 🏈🍺🎰 1 PM 🏈🍺🎰 2 PM 🏈🍺🎰 3 PM 🏈🍺🎰 4 PM 🏈🍺🎰 5 PM 🏈🍺🎰 6 PM 🏈🍺🎰 7 PM 🏈🍺🎰 8 PM 🏈🍺🎰 9 PM 🏈🍺🎰 10 PM 🏈🍺🎰 11 PM 🏈🍺🎰 12 PM 🏈🍺🎰 1 AM 🤜🏻👱🏼‍♀️ 2 AM 👮🏼‍♂️🚓

Guys after losing a girl they weren't even dating

Another failed talkin stage it’s cool cause I miss my ex anyway

Saying “no way that’s targeting” 47 times on a college football Saturday

being single is so fire till about 10:47 pm