replace the Resolute Desk with an Uplift
get a gaming PC with RGB and the presidential seal on the side
streaming setup; headphones, ring light, mic on a swing arm
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caesararum, BS, DOGS
42.6K posts
caesararum, BS, DOGS
@caesararum
Dropped Out of Grad School (DOGS) // assume replies are "yes, and" // maybe we could try writing good software? // we are going to win
New York, USA Katılım Mayıs 2009
1.3K Takip Edilen6.9K Takipçiler
plugin for your phone that always replaces the battery level in screenshots with a perilously low number
"charge your phone!"
"why?"
"you're at ... 0 percent??"
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caesararum, BS, DOGS retweetledi
average library experience: hey, looking for a book about a bear for my daughter, she’s 2. “we have narcan”. uh no just need a book about a bear. “we have a book about depression”. anything with a bear. “stinky toilet monster?” any bear. “uhh well heres bears first depression”
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there was a story i read about 15 years ago about a voicemail server that had progressive hardware failures, but, because the runtime and files all fit in memory, it kept chugging along so long as the power was never interrupted
wonder if it's still running
Austin Speed@austinslow94
@caesararum Lmao if you do this you’re very brave since you have no idea what archaic services are running on said server… and good luck finding a vendor that went under in 2006
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in IT there's a technique called the "scream test"
if you find a server that no one claims, unplug it and see who screams
Andrew Kolvet@AndrewKolvet
UNBELIEVABLE. Vice President Vance just did a double take after hearing this wild stat dropped by Dr. Oz: "You're saying that we kicked off 800 fraudulent healthcare providers off of the Medicare system and not a single one of them called the government and said, 'hey, you made a mistake?'" "It's just completely insane."
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"we can no longer pursue a military solution to this conflict."
"why not?"
"all our men are 'out' "
mike@mike_slugs
You’ll read Civil War history and there’ll be battles where the Union captures a bunch of confederates and they’ll make them swear an oath not to take arms against them again and let them go. And you’re like. You can’t be serious.
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caesararum, BS, DOGS retweetledi
the HUGE majority of the time I've had to wait to change diapers in a family restroom (90%+), it turned out I was waiting on an employee taking a 10-minute youtube break
Lady Nimby@LadyNimby
I am once again reminding everyone to add “adults pooping alone in the family restroom” to their hit lists
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I just got an evite from someone I went on one OKCupid date with 11 years ago
seems legit, right?
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caesararum, BS, DOGS retweetledi
Dude, you have to let me sleep with your wife. Imagine you didn't know which body you'd be born into. You're just as likely to be me as you. Wouldn't you want me to sleep with your wife if you were me? It's called empathy, chud. The wedding veil of ignorance.
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a collection of cities where people are constantly rewriting legacy code in a memory safe language
call it the Rust Belt
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you are now consciously aware that your choices in life have been shaped by what
a) the most neurotic person you'll ever meet
b) can convince the state to do on their behalf
Romy@Romy_Holland
the number of people invoking cps every time they hear about a parenting choice that they wouldn’t make is really disturbing. do you understand what claim you’re making when you say someone should have cps called on them? you’re saying that you believe their child would be better off ripped from the only home they’ve ever known and put in the care of strangers. moreover, you’re saying you believe the median foster parent is a better parent than their current parents. you’re also saying you think we should dedicate state resources to carrying out this process. social workers already have caseloads too big to manage dealing with kids in homes with serious drug addiction, abuse, neglect and often fail to successfully intervene when it’s desperately needed. you want these same social workers to spend time taking kids away from parents who leave them in a locked and air conditioned car for 2 minutes while they run into the store, or who watch them on the baby monitor while they catch up with the neighbors? really? if you were in charge of society this is what you’d do?
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a quote that has stuck with me
"when i had <spicy dish>, i thought it was the worst pain i would ever feel. the next morning, i learned how wrong i was."
frye@___frye
who decided there should be spice receptors at both ends of the human digestive tract. feels like a bit of a design flaw
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when yuo work from home and your wife dresses as a secretary
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caesararum, BS, DOGS retweetledi
You only live once, so make sure to spend as much time as possible on your computer. You won’t have access to it when you die
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