CNN (Parody)

Never deleting this app

Millennials living through 2 economic recessions, 9/11, 2 global pandemics, 8 stock market crashes, jobs replaced by AI, and WW3 before hitting 43

Me speaking about bro who has already blown 17 accounts day trading

Make It In The Emirates 2026 ran four days in Abu Dhabi. Final numbers: 1,245 exhibitors 146,000+ visitors 200+ MoUs signed AED 48bn+ in new investments AED 104bn in deals AED 200bn in planned projects AED 19bn in enablement and financing AED 180bn in offtake commitments over the next 10 years AED 180bn works out to roughly $49bn. That's the value UAE manufacturers have committed to buying domestic over the next decade. Offtake guarantees are what suppliers and lenders need to see before factories actually get built.

The lie detector has determined, that's a lie

BREAKING: The Fed introduces new $1 bill

I asked bro and gf to send $500 gf sends : $500 bro sends : $243.79

Never deleting this app

NOOOOOOOO

Jerome Powell after the last jobs report

Jerome Powell arriving to the office after the last jobs report

Never deleting this app

Me with a 20 looking at the dealer make a blackjack

Me looking at a stock I just bought tanking after reporting earnings

Me finding out the JP Morgan story was fake after accepting a role with a 50% pay cut