Mike Vecchione

Watch my new YouTube special, Low Income White! youtu.be/IvXAipyxI-k?si…

Pentecostal Snake Handlers let the Snake decide if you are forgiven.

There are a million love songs but not many songs about declaring bankruptcy.

I don’t buy Girl Scout Cookies because I don’t want to get diabetes so you ladies can go camping.

If the light switch is on the outside, you can control someone’s bathroom experience completely, right down to flashing the light to let them know, it’s time to wrap up.

You don’t want me as your pilot. Washington D.C. | D.C. Improv | May 29 & 30 Get tix here: punchup.live/event/c2cca52a…

It's raining in Syracuse is the current weather but sounds like a Counting Crows song.

When I was 6 and my fish died i suspected foul play. I demanded a full autopsy, but instead, my father flushed him down the toilet, which means he was either the most naive man alive or he was in on it. Then I found out the truth about Santa damaging his credibility even more.

Young Men: When you hit yourself in the face with a hammer, it's called Looksmaxing. When your wife does it, it's domestic abuse. Looksmaxing should end by ascending, not with your wife and her girlfriends laughing over a pinot noir.

I didn't know the word draconian and my friend called me dumb. Publicly humiliated, I ended the friendship. He accused me of being unnecessarily harsh. If you would have said that in the first place instead of draconian, we'd still be friends, I exclaimed.

My “weight loss journey” got derailed by cookies.

Women calm it Pilates men call it motors. Washington D.C. | D.C. Improv | May 29 & 30 punchup.live/event/c2cca52a…

Some people like the hole. Syracuse, NY | Funny Bone | May 22 & 23 punchup.live/event/f173fb8a…

Having a little fun on Hitler’s birthday! Syracuse, NY | Funny Bone | May 22 & 23 punchup.live/event/f173fb8a…

This is what we need to do with the Straight of Hormuz Austin, TX | Comedy Mothership | July 10-12 Get tix here: punchup.live/event/1d3bd3e9…

I have a new show idea for TLC Washington D.C. | D.C. Improv | May 29 & 30 punchup.live/event/c2cca52a…

Mike comes up with a new brand idea... The Consumers go all in on “Super Soaker” with special guest Mike Vecchione. Watch the full episode on @nateland_ent #supersoaker #ComedyReels #Austin #michaeljackson @ComicMikeV

Confessions of an Uber driver. Washington D.C. | D.C. Improv | May 29 & 30 punchup.live/event/c2cca52a…

Apparently even Michael Jackson was into Super Soakers… The Consumers go all in on “Super Soaker” with special guest Mike Vecchione. Watch the full episode on @nateland_ent #supersoaker #ComedyReels #Austin #michaeljackson @ComicMikeV

Rest in peace Spirit Airlines. Syracuse, NY | Funny Bone | May 22 & 23 punchup.live/event/f173fb8a…

Spirit airlines declared bankruptcy mid flight. “Attention passengers, we don’t want to do this anymore. Feel free to smoke.”