Dave the Pug

The English bulldog and the Scottish terrier have been baiting each other about today's game. Irish setter is currently licking his balls

I going to start a pug rugby team. The games might be really short though. And there would probably be casualties... #sixnations

Some fucking hipster tried to rescue me today. Told him where to go. I don't need rescuing. @melisred is going to come get me at some point

My day has been so boring. For fun I trolled the #chihuahua in next cage. Told her the best #handbag she'll ever see will be from #Primark

It's so cold that my balls have shrivelled up. And they weren't that big to begin with. I need a holiday from the dog home. Somewhere warm.

I've been trying to take a photo for my profile pic but I look like an idiot in them all. Just gonna steal one online instead #pugphotos

Highlight of my day was allowed outside. Impressed crossbreed from a couple of cages down by pissing my name in the snow. She sniffed it.

So, this tweeting lark has found me a possible mark. They even have an invention that I can steal and sell to other pugs. What a mug.

@Melisred Fuckin' hell, sounds amazing. I get out of breath standing up. I've watched Dragon's Den and "I'm in." When can you pick me up?

@Melisred Why should I let you look after me?

@Melisred Don't want to sound like I'm high maintenance and appreciate the interest, but my parents always told me not to trust strangers.

I knew social media was the way to go. Someone has expressed an interest in me already. Should I mention my need to shit everywhere?

It's a Friday night and I might be surrounding by bitches, but I'd rather lick my own balls. Crossbreed a couple cages down is ok though.

The dog home is getting boring. I wish someone would pick me. Must stop breathing like Darth Vader when potential owners visit #pug