Hamavin Yavin

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Hamavin Yavin

Hamavin Yavin

@hamavinyavin

Torah Memes. #FrumTwitter. המבין יבין

Katılım Mart 2023
24 Takip Edilen708 Takipçiler
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Hamavin Yavin
Hamavin Yavin@hamavinyavin·
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Hamavin Yavin
Hamavin Yavin@hamavinyavin·
CHACHAM: Returns shopping cart to designated area RASHA: Leaves shopping cart so it’s blocking a fire exit TAM: Tries to pawn off cart on someone leaving the store EINO YODEA LISHOL: Didn’t take a cart and is standing at checkout with an armful of stuff
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Hamavin Yavin
Hamavin Yavin@hamavinyavin·
Having teenage boys makes you do desperate and unnatural things. Like buying Cheerios and macaroni a week before Pesach.
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Hamavin Yavin
Hamavin Yavin@hamavinyavin·
David (preparing the 1st Temple): I live in a house so God must have a house. Herod (revising the 2nd Temple): I live in a palace so God must have a palace. Millennials (dedicating the 3rd Temple): So this is God’s studio apartment that God shares with three roomies…
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Hamavin Yavin
Hamavin Yavin@hamavinyavin·
Justice has sufficient light.
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Hamavin Yavin
Hamavin Yavin@hamavinyavin·
I’ve been doing test runs with this at work for the past 15 years and it works great…
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Hamavin Yavin
Hamavin Yavin@hamavinyavin·
Shmura matza companies:
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Hamavin Yavin
Hamavin Yavin@hamavinyavin·
Shadchanim be asking questions like
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Hamavin Yavin
Hamavin Yavin@hamavinyavin·
Parshat Hachodesh means time to stock up on prunes…
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Hamavin Yavin
Hamavin Yavin@hamavinyavin·
Fun fact: After the Exodus, God forbade mixing milk and meat because a mummified pharaoh looked EXACTLY like a Philly Cheesesteak.
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Hamavin Yavin
Hamavin Yavin@hamavinyavin·
On the 6th day of creation, bein hashmashot, Hashem downloaded the App Store from which all other app stores were downloaded.
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Hamavin Yavin
Hamavin Yavin@hamavinyavin·
When the Ashkenazi gets an aliyah at a Yemenite minyan and suddenly realizes he’s expected to read the portion.
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Hamavin Yavin
Hamavin Yavin@hamavinyavin·
TERUMAH-TETZAVEH: Here’s how to build the mishkan. VAYAKHEL-PIKUDEI:
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Hamavin Yavin
Hamavin Yavin@hamavinyavin·
Israel is the land of milk and and honey, and the US isn’t. This is because Israeli bees make the sweetest honey in the world, while US bees make flash drives and cable adapters.
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Hamavin Yavin
Hamavin Yavin@hamavinyavin·
TEACHER: The material isn’t that confusing. THE MATERIAL: More confusing than a woman in an Israeli flag burqa carrying a rainbow confederate flag and a sign saying No Kings. Or Queens.
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Hamavin Yavin
Hamavin Yavin@hamavinyavin·
CHRISTIANS: (*start arguing about whether God is non-binary*) NORMAL JEWS: That’s so dumb. It’s like arguing whether air is non-binary. BRISKERS: (*start arguing about whether air is non-binary*)
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Hamavin Yavin
Hamavin Yavin@hamavinyavin·
A yeshiva bochur can spend hours a day studying a book called “Shulchan Aruch” and still not know the fork goes on the left of the plate.
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Hamavin Yavin
Hamavin Yavin@hamavinyavin·
HASHEM: AN EYE FOR AN EYE!!!! CHAZAL:
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