John Finnemore

Merry Christmas! See you next year. (Or on Substack)

Get dressed, ye merry gentlemen, let nothing ye dismay! For it is Christmas, Christmas, Christmas. Christmas, Christmas Day! It’s Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Day… It is Chri-hi-hi-hi-hi-hi-histmas day, Chrissymas Day, it is Chriiiiiiiistmas Day!

Once a year I return to this eerie and abandoned place, to pass on this important seasonal message from an old colleague:

Geeeeeettttt…. DRESSED ye merry gentlemen, let nothing you dismay! For it is Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Day! It’s Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Christmas Day… it is Chri-hi-hi-hi-hi-hi-histmas daaaaay! Love, The Airport.

…And now, over to Mr. Arthur Shappey for my last tweet for the foreseeable future. Take it away, Arthur, and Merry Christmas!

While I’m here, there is also a new Christmassy short story by me, read by Adrian Scarborough, going out on BBC Radio 4 at 3.15 today, and available on BBC Sounds.

Hello. In a minute, I’m going to post what will be, I expect, my last ever tweet. I won’t delete my account, so the tweet will still be up for future Christmasses, but for live renditions from now on, try Blue Sky. I’m also on Substack.

But the Dog Was So Very Comical. open.substack.com/pub/johnfinnem…

With The Little Round Button At Top open.substack.com/pub/johnfinnem…

Happersnapper open.substack.com/pub/johnfinnem…

It Isn't Ever Delicate to Live open.substack.com/pub/johnfinnem…

Do Not Feed The Alpacas open.substack.com/pub/johnfinnem…

I'm not here any more, but my ghost would like to point out that for mystical reasons of their own, Amazon have cut the price of The Researcher's First Murder by almost half. Down from £25 to the curiously specific £13.56. Haunting ends. Whooooo. amazon.co.uk/dp/180018364X/…

Like a Duck Against Thunder open.substack.com/pub/johnfinnem…

He Ever Left the Pomegranate Unblemished open.substack.com/pub/johnfinnem…

I am not on Twitter anymore, but I am on Substack; and links to my weekly posts there will appear on this account. He Ever Left the Pomegranate Unblemished open.substack.com/pub/johnfinnem…

Poking my head round the gate of the abandoned funfair just long enough to shout “There’s a new episode of Souvenir Programme on BBC Sounds!” and “I’m doing a show at the Ludlow Fringe in June!”, and then running off again. ludlowassemblyrooms.co.uk/event/john-fin… bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m0…

The Intrepid Rabbits Turned the Emperor's Flank johnfinnemore.substack.com/p/the-intrepid…

The Stentorian Laugh of the Stronger Sex open.substack.com/pub/johnfinnem…

Tiny Kittens, Dead Lions and See-through Elephants. open.substack.com/pub/johnfinnem…