Matty Chymbor

It’s hard to hate Happy Gilmore 2 for the simple fact that at no point did I have a clue as to what the fuck was going on.

American Airlines can suck my fucking dick

@MattyChymbor is miserable about the unsettling verbiage around moles, unexpected diarrhea disasters, and the ongoing confusion about what counts as a mammal. 🚢 #comedypodcast

People in their 30s prepping for tomorrows hangover

How it feels living with a woman 😰

Coming up: @MattyChymbor is bringing the laughs May 15th! Tickets at Ontario.Improv.com #comedy #standup #funny #abercrombie #eastcoast

My boss: why are you late?! Me: my penis is small

@RichOToole Didn’t you live in Maine?

@MattyChymbor I lived in Houston for 4 years lol

Well… I’m officially a resident of Fredericksburg,TX. It was a hard decision leaving Houston but the Hill Country has my heart and soul. Hopefully this house will stir up some new songwriting ideas. 🙏🏽🏡

@MattyChymbor is miserable about his dad faking cancer, his therapist falling asleep on him, and getting stuck on the wrong side of the table. ✨

@MayorOfLA so when are you going to do anything about the drug addicts that are literally everywhere in this city? Los Angeles is a piece of shit and you don’t do anything about it.

📲 OFTV is the only app you need to watch #LMAOF with @MrJayWashington, Natasha Collier, and @MattyChymbor! 📺 Tune in for FREE: of.tv/LMAOF56

@JeffDye @BauerOutage @MLB

The fact that Trevor Bauer isn’t on an MLB team is the most ridiculous thing in the world to me. He was accused of things he DIDN’T DO! It’s been proven he didn’t and yet he still is ignored and shadow banned from MLB. WHY??!??? @BauerOutage @mlb

@aaronmliner Post a shirtless pic or stfu

10,000 pushups since Jan 1

@aaronmliner 👆🏼fortune cookie quote

If it’s for you, you cannot mess it up

@MattyChymbor is back with big news! youtu.be/LPZ4913O1iM?si…

Been on Twitter for 3 minutes and saw 4 videos of people fighting and/or getting shot. Seems healthy

*weed also applies

Let’s go 🎟️: mattychymbor.com/upcoming-shows

This week at the Comedy Loft: Wednesday | @MattyChymbor Wednesday | First Degeneration Thursday-Saturday | Christian Johnson Thursday | Yo, Where You From? Tickets are available at dccomedyloft.com