Nick Swardson

Saw someone with "my warm up is your work out" shirt. Well, my casual drinking is your alcohol poisoning so fuck you.

Let’s go WILD!!! @mnwild

Happy 20th anniversary to The Benchwamers!! Howie will be appearing at Astronomicon this weekend in Ann Arbor! Fri-Sun. Astronomicon.com

Just announced! Sequel to Project Hail Mary. ‘Project Nail Gary’ starring Gary Busey as a carpenter on Saturn. Summer 2085.

If you want to see me talk with my friend @Edelman11 while also looking like a melted candle/snow man made out of cookie dough, peep my YouTube channel @swardnation 🤙 😂

Let’s go Kyler Murray! Or Bill Murray at this point. Or Anne Murray. Maybe a guy named Murray that owns a deli. Just don’t fuck this up. 👿 SKOL

Ok, talking to comedians and musicians about a cruise. SIDE NOTE: if you could pick any 5 comics and 2 bands THROUGH OUT HISTORY to do a cruise with, who would they be? 😂 remember you’re on a boat with them for a week. Who you got? The Doors? Carlin? Tupac? Carrot Top? 😂

I want to do a comedy cruise. They’re super fun. Please throw some names out of comics that you’d like to see and hang with if you’d want to go. It would already be me, Gary Oldman and Daniel Day Lewis.

@RyanReynol86903 I know. That made me laugh.

@NickSwardson Milton Berle and George Burns never did a stepbrothers movie

Legit baffled at how many people didn’t get my question. It’s NOT a real movie. I’m asking people to use their imaginations to put two of the most intense dramatic actors in a broad comedy. It’s a funny visual. NOT A REAL MOVIE. 😂

Would you rather see Daniel Day Lewis and Gary Oldman reboot ‘Dumb and Dumber’ or ‘Step Brothers’? 😂 or what other duo comedy?

Workaholics cruise. 🤙 TOILET HEAD SPECIAL ON YOUTUBE! Over 200k views. Thank you!

Toilet Head special is at 160k views with no press outside of social media and word of mouth. Glad my fans and people in this world still have a toilet head 😂 @swardnation" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener">YouTube.com/@swardnation

The 7th special from the world’s finest actor 😂 @swardnation" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener">YouTube.com/@swardnation

Toilet Head special out now! @swardnation" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener">YouTube.com/@swardnation

What Olympic event would you watch where the athletes were just radio contest winners trying the sport for the first time? Ski Jump would be amazing. 😂

I feel like they need to give a shout out to the 13’s. The Vikings fans that didn’t want Sam to leave. Congrats, Sam!! SKOL adjacent 💜

My seventh special. Feb 12th on my YouTube channel. That date is the 30th anniversary of doing stand up. Taped at the iconic @FirstAvenue in the great state of Minnesota! In the great city of Minneapolis. SKOL. ♥️

They’re dropping a new He-Man: Masters of the Universe movie. Here’s an early look at him and Skeletor.

Tough losses for the Bills and the Bears. Which play did you think was more egregious? Bears throwing that long pass at the end or Josh Allen scrambling with 22 seconds before the half and giving up that FG? Or add another defining play that was crucial.

Congrats to the Bills and my twin separated at birth @mattprater on another great season. Congrats to the Broncos! #Edibles #Colorado