Noah Stambovsky

I’m completely committed to being indecisive. Wait actually… maybe not.

Panera bread is great when you want to pay $15 for a sandwich with the perfect amount of chicken on it. By “perfect amount” I mean 3 pieces, each about the size of a quarter. @panerabread

I don't use a to do list anymore. I use timefoxing. When I have a task to complete, I lock myself in a cage with a live fox. I'm covered in squirrel blood. If I don't complete the task on time, that fox is going to kill me.

Hey @WIRED I found a typo in your article. You’re welcome. I take Venmo.

Computers are made of metal, but hammers are made of metal too. So it’s not the metal that allows you to access the internet. It’s something else entirely

The average age of a person who wears diapers is approximately 25 years old. That’s why medians are important.

A parable is a short story meant to impart a particular moral or spiritual message. "Soldiers Win Wars" is a parable that falls under the "one offs" banner within Seven World Tales.

Cat people know what’s up.

You either die saying “president bush doesn’t care about black people” or you live long enough to tweet “I’m a nazi”

So trump just uses the same toilet joe Biden was using until last month? Seems like a weirdly personal thing to share. Like what how much time between Joe’s last poop in the White House master bathroom, and Trump’s first back in office? These are the important issues people.

British people always saying “bugger this, bugger that” Why don’t you bug a dentist into treating your messed up teeth, innit?

Y’know, a giant wooden horse makes a really great gift, if it isn’t filled with soldiers who open the gates and let an enemy army into your city.

Is there a slur that is more funny and less taken seriously than “frog” to denote someone of French nationality?

Out: Using AI to write for you In: Using AI to help you keep track of hundreds of pages of outlines and world building. TY notebook LM

If history has taught us anything it’s that the steppe horse archer was the most advanced combat and logistics system for hundreds of years.

Over the course of TV history, there have been multiple well-grounded historic period pieces that feature mainly real people and closely follow history’s actual events. In a very real way, these shows are all part of a single extended universe.

Every time you use a projector to watch a TV show or movie instead of going outside, plato rolls in his grave.

If I’m on a space ship traveling 1 MPH less than the speed of light, and I fire a gun In the direction the ship is traveling, how fast does the bullet go? As much as we accept this stuff today, it makes sense that people thought Einstein was crazy.

Cell phones Self owns Sale foams

If back pain we’re bricks, I’d be the Great Wall of china right now.

God creating Blueberries: “It’s a tiny, tart tomato. But here’s the funny part, despite the similar flavor, humans will never consider using it in a savory context”