Ophira Eisenberg

Hey People! Thanks to everyone who came to all my shows in 2025 - especially the big taping at The @ComedyCellarUSA - can’t wait to share it with you soon. New show dates and more: OphiraEisenberg.com Coming up - I’m going to be touring with @TheMoth (hello, Alaska!)

Cheers from one OG Party Girl to another #TBT

🎤👶 Parenthood: the ultimate plot twist!

From one Party Girl Mom to another...nothing like late nights and early mornings! But we're fiiiiiinnnne. Always good times at @nycomedyclub

😂 All my friends are on their second marriage. I’m on my first stroller. I hope to see you at my upcoming shows this week in Montana, @lastbestcomedy (Thursday) and @TheMyrnaLoyMT (Friday)! Get info and tickets at OphiraEisenberg.com

⭐Bozeman, Montana 🎤   Can't wait to see you on April 19th at @lastbestcomedy! ⛰️ Headline stand-up set at the best comedy club in Montana! 💕 Get info and tickets at tickettailor.com/events/lastbes…

❗ Helena, Montana❗  Come see my LIVE solo show, Leaving A Mark: A Comedy About Scars, at @TheMyrnaLoyMT on March 20th, 7:30PM ✨   🫶  Bring a friend. 🔪Bring your scars.  🫶  🔪 Bring a friend with scars. 🎟️ Get info and tickets at myrna-loy-center.square.site/product/leavin…

🥂 Happy Anniversary to my book "Screw Everyone - Sleeping My Way to Monogamy." 📕  🎧  Paperback, Kindle, and Audio Book (read by Ophira) available on Amazon. 📕  Alternate covers for the German and Dutch versions. 📖  See more at OphiraEisenberg.com/writer

If only American took a few notes from European History. Thanks to the Comedy Cellar USA for another educational night!

😜  Stand-Up Comedy, Hosting and Storytelling - OH MY!! 💥 More info and links for tickets at ophiraeisenberg.com/shows 03.11.26 New York, NY Stand-Up Comedy 03.14.26 New York, NY Stand-Up Comedy 03.19.26 Bozeman, MT Stand-Up Comedy 03.20.26 Helena, MT Story Telling

#TBT to Gotham Comedy Club Live - YEARS LATER....This Joke Still Holds.

To all the older Mom's out there, who got good use of their last egg.

To be a REAL New Yorker is to share your city with 180,000 tourists. Daily. Some of New York is for you. Most of it is for them. You complain about tourists. You threaten to move. You never move. Because seriously… where else has an M&M store? instagram.com/reel/DVRBwxZjc…

I’ve noticed that there are less and less positive affirmation plaques around town, or am I just immune to them? But then I go to an Airbnb and well let’s just say, I seize the day! instagram.com/reel/DVOzHKFAN…

I still find it weird that no one ever asks my husband “where’s your kid?” I’m not even sure they know he has one, until he tells a joke that involves a pun. Then they know - yup, he’s a dad.

Parenting is Hard. Doing it older? Harder! But you may have noticed, I’m an eternal optimist and I can find the upside to anything. And, yes, I recognize that I am lucky and lucky enough to choose. #mybodymychoice #advancedmaternalage instagram.com/reel/DU_FFZaDR…

On the Road! This last week I headed south to a place where vitamin D exists and you know what? I did feel more positive. #roadlife instagram.com/p/DU8-qcNEt_S/…

When you’re pregnant people say the wildest things to you and everyone seems to know more about your body than you do! That’s when you have to start adding new words to the medical glossary.

When I am asked what qualities do you find attractive in a man - it’s so simple: Insecurity! A man who doesn’t know his worth! A man who is good looking and doesn’t really recognize that! Those rare gems are the ones you want. Happy Valentine’s! instagram.com/reel/DUtle_Qkr…

Happy pre-Valentines everyone! To all my couples out there - even the married ones, that are blissfully passive aggressive and still having the same argument they had on day one 15 years later. I salute you! That’s what keeps the love alive.

Oh New York living! Remember how we all wished for snow this year? “It’s so pretty!” we said. Winter in the city is just a beautiful sight in every direction. It’s a Winter Dumpster-land! instagram.com/reel/DUo3hpkDZ…