Stone Fruit Monkey

Why do I need to put the effort forth to make you my friend still when you never do? That you blame an “attachment style” for your behaviors but never want to actually work on yourself and your relationships. Go have fun being fake, I’m tired of pretending to be okay about it.

It hurts to think you left me out because I scolded you. It hurts to think you might be telling OUR friends that I’m a bad person for making you accountable. “I don’t know if we’re friends anymore-“ when you treat me like a stranger to begin with.

At this point I don’t care if you tell your buddies how I behave with you. I know you only tell one half of a story to begin with. People will eventually realize how you really are, even if it takes them half their life to understand that. Like it did me.

Some sort of garbage can on fire? How do you think it feels to be told stuff like “I’m scared how she thinks” when it’s YOU that has been acting like this, don’t you DARE TRY TO SET BLAME ON ME- Anyway. If you’re gonna play a victims role, then at least keep it to yourself.

Mfs want to say you’re their “friend” but then proceed to ignore you, leave you out, and treat you like a stranger. And only to find out that they’re scared of how you’ll react- what do you think I feel now, when you are only furthering this garbage dump of a relationship like

I’ve never done this before but I assume it’s like keeping a diary.. Today I feel- hrm. Like everything I do sets the people around me back. I push for changes because they’re needed, don’t get me wrong on that front. But it’s like the people let that behavior go on for so long

That the second someone says “hey that’s weird and not right you need to change” then it’s a big problem. Like they got comfortable being abused and abusing. Or maybe neglecting is the better word here.. Needless to say, it’s difficult to understand where I’m at anymore.