modernchonga

@pbcdmx @RbtByfrnd @ginnyhogan_ but there might be a joke if they die younger tho

my dream is to tell one good joke and get rich

@halliem222 omg salivating txt me asap

@TereBernace i’m on it

I wanna see a pug in a latex bodysuit

fuck Sophie Aspin tho #iykyk

and why is M to the B stuck in my head youtu.be/FSjvlnneEto

why does every room in Ireland look like a dirty christmas party

guys that remove their leg hair are serial killers

I am pretty much talking to myself on here

just so the three people that read my tweets know

modern chonga will be my brand moving forward

imagine being born in South Dakota and then being like ok what now

imagining my dog in a latex body suit

everyone seems to be getting exponentially more unhinged on here. probably a good time to post your worst takes. I’ll go first: I don’t think men should use emojis

Nothing like bombing a set on a Monday night

listenin to pompeii facts and doing booty exercises hbu

@MenendezRand this guy sounds like a huge little bitch (referring to John, not you Rob, I don't know you, I don't know John either but I think we can agree he's a little bitch)

'A NJ corrections officer gunned down his girlfriend and her friend saying he killed them because he was mad his gal pal wasn’t returning his calls. “I killed both of them — just arrest me, bro,” suspect John Menendez, 23, told cops' nypost.com/2021/02/19/nj-…

who else thinks Mars is ugly and the rover should just come back and take pictures here @NASA @NASAPersevere

@Chellyjay2 like what if they don't see it, you feel me? I'm just trying to make my notes as visible to a busy restaurant employee's eyes as possible

I'm one of those assholes that puts special instructions on my Postmates orders in ALL CAPS