Overly Attached GF

@neeksleep not even, like 300...

Having a shower is no excuse for missing 46 phone calls.

See's you got a text from a classmate. "Who's that slut?"

Makes you a sandwich.

You didn't comment on my facebook status. Are you cheating on me?

You don't want me to be your girlfriend anymore? Of course I'll marry you.

"Oh, you found someone else?". I'm pregnant.

You forgot to tell me you're going on a trip with your friends. Good thing I installed a GPS in your car.

Hey, I just met you and this is crazy. I have your number. I want your babies.

Ran into your ex. With my car!

You ate at Wendy's?! WHO THE FUCK IS WENDY?

How could you cheat on me?!? In my dream last night.

Guys night? Sounds fun! Where are we going?

I read something interesting yesterday. Your emails.

I deleted your porn. And replaced it with videos I mad for you.

I was looking through your texts earlier. Who's Mom?

On first date. "You'll make a great father".

I poked holes in all your condoms. Now you have to love me forever.

"I just borrowed your keys to make a few spare copies, babe".

Wakes you up at 3:00 am. "What ya thinkin' 'bout?"