Zach Dries

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@asadqh WILD CARD!!

@batmandible he greased his feet with the tears he wept when the other gorillas ignored him or being a hairless freak.

Shouldn't outlaws and in-laws be opposites? Yet they have nothing to do with each other. #notsodeepthoughts

My favorite band (@dangeroussummer) releasing a new album and playing in Boston in the same month. It's like Christmas, but warmer.

@joshuaradin Feel like flying to Boston,MA to help a fan propose in the greatest way possible?All other plans have failed.it's Saturday.

@batmandible there is a shamed roommate to match

@batmandible see what happens when you leave.

@batmandible facts I am learning: of the 25 deadliest snakes, 21 are in Australia.

Watching "Planet's Deadliest Animals". Very first episode: Australia. Looking at you @batmandible.

@batmandible @asadqh It's been done. Some salesman came to my parent's house pitching lawn care. Sadly, I had just immigrated from France.

Just watched a guy open his bag of Doritos from the bottom...on purpose. I died a bit inside. #DestroyingAmerica

@SamPenkacik @asadqh You braggin and shoutin lies. I'm burying all ya lines. The priest prays, organs plays, and mourners all come to cry

@SamPenkacik @asadqh @batmandible Mr T didnt get tired coming here, did he? Fool your gunna need his pity, laying down lines just so shitty.

@SamPenkacik @asadqh @batmandible A freshmen competitor thinks he knows better than varsity veterans, but can touch my letterman. #schooled

@asadqh @batmandible Welcome to confession cuz rhymes my obsession. Get on your knees, plead, and embrace your regression.

@asadqh @batmandible There aint a crown small enough to fit on that dome. Your minds like a toddler's it needs time to grow.

@asadqh @batmandible I need a better banter than crass efforts and stammers, now feel the lyrical hammer coming down.

@asadqh @batmandible Your painful presentation and rhyme scheme degradation just deem your qualifications as weak .