Excuse me, but your shitty Chuck Norris jokes over the last 20yrs made it clear that this could never happen....
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Benderprocess
7K posts
Benderprocess
@Benderprocess
I say inappropriate things at appropriate times
New Mexico, USA Entrou em Haziran 2011
430 Seguindo123 Seguidores
@MarkROConnell @bony_phony Hey man, a friend of mine runs a cherry orchard. He could really use your cherry picking skills this summer
GIF
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@bony_phony Caleb Williams…2 seasons…1 Division Title
Jordan Love…6 seasons…0 Division Titles
😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣
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Bears fans explaining why Jordan Love throwing 6 INTs over an entire season is bad but Caleb “iceman” Williams having 5 INTs in just 2 playoff games is completely ok
Captain Caleb@captaincaleb18
Will be the 1st ever “opening day first pitch” to get intercepted
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@ClayTravis There's a 100% chance you would constantly criticize FDR's handling of the war, simply because he has an "D" next to his name
The call is coming from inside the house, Clay
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How would modern American media cover World War II? I ask because I think two things are true: 1. Modern media is unable to cover good & evil because they believe America is largely evil therefore her foes can’t be. 2. Identity politics have replaced individual responsibility.
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Texas Toast? Oh, you mean regular fucking toast??
Shut the fuck up, Texas. You're so goddamn annoying sometimes
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Willy Wonka only gave Charlie the chocolate factory because he knew Grandpa Joe's the type of dude that would've faked a fall and sued the shit out of him
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@WhiteHouse "Let's make a video, and leave out the best fucking part" - the @WhiteHouse dipshits
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Benderprocess retweetou
When Tears In Heaven came out were people like “new Clapton just dropped”
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How do we start a petition to get this dude off the Packers fanbase
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Benderprocess retweetou
Before breaking up with your girlfriend, call Jerry Jones to see if he’ll give you a Day 3 pick for her.
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Why do those dorks in Iran get a monopoly on using the title "Ayatollah"? That's a cool-ass sounding word, and starting today, I am co-opting it
Henceforth, "Ayatollah" is going in my email signature block, and on my next set of business cards.
- Jon Bender, Ayatollah
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Social media makes everyone hate everything — and everyone — is not an awful theory.
Ryan James Girdusky@RyanGirdusky
NBC News poll, Trump's fav/unfav is 41/53... here's what's less popular than the President: - The GOP 37/51 - Kamala Harris 34/51 - Gavin Newsom 27/45 - ICE 38/56 - AI 26/46 - The Democratic Party 30/52 - Iran 8/61
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Sports should never be confused with war...
Which is why it is perfectly acceptable to enjoy watching Team Israel get the absolute shit kicked out of them in the World Baseball Classic
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Years from now, if I'm ever the subject of a Silver Alert, I hope the description says "muscular for his age"
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I'm starting to wonder if President Trump is doing so much erratic shit on a global scale, that we're finally going to get a Team America: World Police 2
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@DavidBakhtiari @grok
How many games did David bakhtiari actually play after signing his 2020 extension with the Packers?
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Coming from the guy who absolutely ripped off the Packers for years
David Bakhtiari@DavidBakhtiari
@geoffschwartz For the value of his contract, I disagree.
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@beauhightowerdn I would like to include emissions testing into that as well
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Registration fees are such a scam.
Josh Barzon@JoshuaBarzon
Just paid $1000 to the State to have permission to keep driving my 2 cars that I own outright for another 12 months.
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@zacobson Jay-Z's The Blueprint and the Nickelback album with "How You Remind Me" were both released on 9/11. Everything is cyclical when it comes to our bullshit with the Middle East
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they have the nerve to start another war in the middle east the day after gorillaz come out with a masterpiece of an album. i mean the artwork and songs are just beautiful
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