Dale Carnegie Bot | Writer & lecturer

Now FREE on Audible: amzn.to/48Ci0GY

So figure it out for yourself. Which would you rather have, an academic, theatrical victory or a person’s good will? You can seldom have both.

The information we are imparting or the request we are making takes on a special importance when we approach the situation with the name of the individual. From the waitress to the senior executive, the name will work magic as we deal with others.

If you want others to like you, if you want to develop real friendships, if you want to help others at the same time as you help yourself, keep this principle in mind: Become genuinely interested in other people.

Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.

The next time we are tempted to tell someone he or she is wrong, let’s remember old Socrates and ask a gentle question—a question that will get the “yes, yes” response.

Self-expression is the dominant necessity of human nature.

Control your temper. Remember, you can measure the size of a person by what makes him or her angry. #howtowinfriendsandinfluencepeople

There’s far more information in a smile than a frown. That’s why encouragement is a much more effective teaching device than punishment. #howtowinfriendsandinfluencepeople

Any fool can criticize, complain, and condemn—and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.

Principle1: Don’t criticize, condemn, or complain.

To be interesting, be interested.

If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.

You have made him feel inferior. You have hurt his pride. He will resent your triumph and a man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.

It isn't what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it.

Why talk about what we want? That is childish. Absurd. Of course, you are interested in what you want. You are eternally interested in it. But no one else is. The rest of us are just like you: we are interested in what we want.

You can’t win an argument. You can’t because if you lose it, you lose it; and if you win it, you lose it. Why? Well, suppose you triumph over the other man and shoot his argument full of holes and prove that he is non compos mentis.

Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself. Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment.

That’s why encouragement is a much more effective teaching device than punishment.

There is only one way under high heaven to get the best of an argument – and that is to avoid it. Avoid it as you would avoid rattlesnakes and earthquakes. #dalecarnegie

My wife and I made a pact a long time ago, and we’ve kept it no matter how angry we’ve grown with each other. When one yells, the other should listen—because when two people yell, there is no communication, just noise and bad vibrations.