Jake

I'm extremely confident "No Hands" by waka will get any party hyped all the way up into the year 2025

To the east coast. #ProIU

Another reminder that most of the real problems in America aren't caused by some shadowy figures with ingenious plans. They're actually caused by regular voters that get whipped up into a hysteria about things like new housing, nuclear power plants, & now data centers

It’s extremely difficult to win a national championship game getting outshot from 3 by 9-2 and losing the boards by 7. But Michigan prevailed by making 25-28 free throws. You watching, LeBron?

A massive window has opened up for you to pass all the normies around you, don’t miss it.

the ai industry successfully psyoped the entire world that ai is useless because over-hype caused people to rush in early the ceos fell for the openclaw scam, bought a thousand mac minis and found no productivity boost your time to make it has extended +1 year

Type of question Theo Von asks war criminals

Adult friendships are so dumb like yeah I think I can find a time to hang. How’s february 17th at 4pm

I cant stand these millennial tech companies with these 'cute' nonsense names like "granola" or "clay." if I had a company youd see me calling that shit the American Computing Corporation. National Electron. United Tabulation. thats a name with some chest hair

I would strike Dan Lanning out on 3 pitches. Slider outside. He feels like hes drowning. Curveball in the dirt of course he’s chasing it. Oregon sucks kill yourself. And Bang 97 inside corner. Youre out. You were was always out. Youve been out since the day you were born

for millions of years, Ducks have trusted Ponds ... but tonight they have been betrayed

i'm trying to stop being mean but it's like y’all have to stop being retarded first

Breaking: unproductive loser hates capitalism, a system that rewards productivity More at 11

My take on the jagged frontier debate:

Indiana has zero five stars, seven four stars and, according to the 247 talent composite, the 72nd most talented roster in the sport. Three spots behind Boston College. That Cignetti has built a national contender there is astounding. One of the best coaching jobs in my lifetime

The Left: “Our opponents are all deplorable Nazis, a basket case of fascists, a real and present threat to democracy, an impending dictatorship, literally Hitler!” The Left: “We can’t say why people are assassinating our opponents, it’s a complete mystery.”

idk who traumatized you but you don’t need to pay me back for your $7 drink

Everyone needs to hear this…

how unemployed do u have to be to log every movie you watch on an app

if one more person tells me “capitalism is making people starve” i’m going to lose it the poorest people in America are literally gigantic. like medically unexplainable balloon-shaped and built like refrigerators. we’re not dealing with famine—we’re dealing with doorways having to be widened have you seen what capitalism gives broke people in this country??? you can wake up at 2pm, take your government-subsidized Ozempic with a 3,000 calorie $9 “coffee” milkshake from Starbucks, get driven to Target in an air-conditioned car you don’t own, buy 40 pounds of seed oils and corn syrup with an EBT card, tap pay on your iPhone, and then go home and watch Netflix while you suck your vape in a recliner until the next time you’re ready to shovel food into that nasty mouth hole your shampoo has biotin. your snacks come in resealable zip pouches. your cats eat grain-free. your dog wears a thunder shirt. you’ve got twelve $7 body washes for different moods. your teeth are rotting from Mountain Dew. your fridge dispenses crushed ice. you have a bluetooth air fryer that makes chicken nuggets shaped like Paw Patrol characters. you’re on six medications and still have the nerve to say the system is failing you you don’t cook. you don’t walk. you don’t build. you don’t fix. and yet your lifestyle—degrading as it is—is still propped up by diesel engines, shipping containers, water treatment plants, and a thousand invisible laborers you’ll never meet capitalism isn’t making you starve. it’s keeping you alive in spite of yourself it gave you DoorDash. it gave you weed delivery. it gave you plus-size lingerie and mental health apps that send you push notifications like “you’re doing great sweetie” even though you’re a fucking emotionally unregulated lunatic. it gave you multiple streaming services to distract you from your own shitty choices. and you’re mad because it didn’t also give you meaning??? capitalism didn’t fail you. it cushioned your fall. it wrapped it in cheese, deep fried it, and let you finance it at 17% APR but the most ungrateful part is: the system is still carrying your ass on a reinforced mobility scooter through the Walmart to buy more of that trash you call food take away profit and by day four of your revolution you’ll be shitting in a bucket and trading hot cheetos for insulin in a parking lot SHUT THE FUCK UP