Em

Fuckin birds man

Once all the boomers are retired you wanna switch to a 32 hour 4 day work week or nah?

ski jumping is just a different type of sport

doing a reverse lent where i pick a new vice to get hooked on for the next 40 days. taking suggestions.

I was born in the wrong time period. I wasn't meant to go to work every day. I was meant to get eaten by a predator

Only REAL fuckin homies have their read receipts on

One thing you can never count on me to do is get those spider like fake lashes i just do NOT understand it

Always have my best workouts when I’m in the worst moods

I hate office small talk, how am I doing today? Same as I was when you saw me yesterday Janet, I want to fucking kill myself

me: why did my alarm not go off? my alarm:

That era when u dropped ya phone and the battery flew out was just crazy

realizing my life currently is really good and I’m ruining it by constantly thinking about the past/future 🤪

Can’t even be mad at the Diamondbacks. Haven’t been to world series since 2001 and Corbin Carroll was an incredible player in this game. Sometimes we just suck and we did not deserve to win this one

We ae c h o k i n g big time

The dead silence when Acuna makes contact and then the eruption when Johan Rojas makes the catch will send chills down your spine

“the clubhouse is a sanctuary” the clubhouse:

please