Alan Partridge

We’re also taking emails on the big question…

“Melania, are those your mother's cataract glasses?"

A-haaaaa!

“That’s right, you link my arm. We’ll try and leave with some dignity.”

Alan Partridge Christmas Cards available now 🎄✉️ 👉 etsy.me/2RWdqOm

The Belgian has got football pie all over his Faes

Liz, you couldn’t present a cat.

“Your hand is about 30 mil from my gland. And if I was dressed on the other side, it would be in contact… Your little finger just touched it!”

“That was a negative and right now I need two positives. You know, one to cancel out the negative and another one just so I can have a positive.”

"That's right, you link my arm. We'll try and leave with some dignity."

“Can I just explain? I was trying to access Driving Miss Daisy”

RS: Just say ‘no I don't pay, tax is rubbish'. AM: Rishi, you are not the Chancellor of the Exch… oh wait…

“You’ve got it on the Valance!”

“Nice array of pasties you’ve got today. I don’t want one, I’m just making small talk… Fancy a pint later on? No? Neither do I. Thank you.”

“I like your red dress. I saw a lady wearing one just like that outside a train station. She was enjoying a cigarette. Her dress matched her lipstick. I think she was waiting for someone.”

"Why are you wearing that red dress? If you think you can upstage Jill by wearing that, you are very much mistaken."