Mizz Tangles

I just cut my own bangs and now I have to shave my whole head.

My political stance is to wear a romper in the fall.

Ding dong the witch is dead!

This is what happens when you don't have a dog in the White House.

The only thing Trump should win is President of crazy town.

I think crow’s feet are beautiful because they are evidence of laughter.

When you realise the good old days were just a month ago.

@JGCaldwell3 Yes!! I have it displayed above my fireplace.

@MizzTangles remember me from long ago? I bought you a light saber.

I am the boss of this house and I will get out from under the table when I am ready.

Facebook needs an "I've already seen this on Twitter" button.

Someone just called my jokes first world problems. Well yeah, third world problems tend not to be that funny Karen.

For my next trick, I'll be at a bar then magically reappear face down on my bedroom floor without a clue how I got there.

Playdough doesn't taste as good as I remember.

Him: I love a woman in a thong. Me: *spends entire weekend cutting the cheeks out of my granny panties.

Take me now! I scream as my husband drives us to Dairy Queen.

Zoom is just Skype's younger, prettier sister.

I never want to think about toilet paper again.