Nikki White

Hubby was feeling under the weather and after he told me for the 12th time in a 5 minute time frame how he was feeling I suddenly had the thought, “Oh crap. If he ever gets Covid... how... am I going to know whether it’s serious or not?”

What I say: Mommy needs to make a quick phone call. What they hear: Mommy is going to be so lonely with only that phone to talk to.

Sometimes I wish I could make my husband go through what I go through during my “time of the month”. But then I think, why in the world would I want to put MYSELF through him going through that? It would be so much worse. So much worse.

Burning man has been canceled for this year. Which is a shame because I was looking forward to wearing a mask, stocking up on food, riding my bike a lot, disconnecting from the world, not showering for a week, wait a second...

Kids: Mom, where’s Daddy? Mom: He’s (fill in the blank). But stay here with me, let’s give him some space. Kids: Dad, where’s Mommy? Dad: I don’t know, but you should definitely go find out! And ask if she needs any help!!

You know things are bad when your optimistic husband suggests keeping more space between our car and other cars while driving.

Apple: Your screen time has gone up 99% in the last two days. Easy...

Put Frozen 2 on for my kids so I could do a video conference call. Had to warn the person I was talking to that I will either be breaking into song or shouting out death threats multiple times throughout the conversation.

10 years ago: Kick so high I accidentally hit myself in the head sometimes. Now: Sneeze in a weird way and I can’t turn my head for a week.

Opening your kid’s lunch box after school- Preschool: Please Lord, tell me they ate something, anything. Elementary School: Please Lord, tell me they didn’t eat anything so I can send this same lunch with them again tomorrow. #ihatepackinglunches

Got to see Frozen 2. Anyone else looking forward to hearing a thousand different people butcher those new songs that only Idina Menzel can sing?

Warning: If you carry a big tote bag, chances are my 6 year old is going to assume you have snacks, a toy, and a coloring book in there.

Was saying goodbye to my physical therapist when I quickly glanced at a text from a friend that I love and instead of saying, “Thank you” to my PT I said, “Thanks love” and then quickly walked out. So I’ve been letting that sink in for the last 3 days.

I love wearing headphones when I jog. Not only do they provide inspirational music but they also make it so I don’t have to listen to myself wheeze.

Me on social media: It’s so creepy how I’m advertised things that I googled once like 3 months ago, I don’t like it! Also me on social media: Ooh, those shoes are SO cute.

Life goes by so fast, until you’re jogging.

Fun fact: a child’s whisper is no quieter than their regular voice.

Whenever I tell my kids, “You can’t go play until you eat and drink more.” I always think about how much I wish someone would say that to me.

6yo:U don’t like goodie bags? Me:They’re filled w/ plastic toys that I end up throwing away then I feel horrible cuz plastic is killing our planet 6:Whoa Me: Sorry, I’m on my period 6:What’s your period? Me:It’s a period of time where Mommy shouldn’t be allowed to talk to anyone

6yo: Does it hurt when Mommies have babies? Me: Yes. But it’s okay, you know why? Cuz Mommies are tough. 6yo: Well, I’m a boy so I can’t have babies. Which means it won’t hurt me at all! Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Me: currently googling exorcissssm...