TOASTIE, M.A.✨

okay. this is my last tweet.

Ugly and horrible. Someone call me when the bird is back.

I cannot stomach real aliens rn. Y'all are gonna have to wait until I die of old age before you start all that.

Stepping in a slice of melted American cheese on THE SIDEWALK. Durant u sicken me.

Croissant? Out. FUNKY ROLLED BISCUIT? In

My tweets! My tweets! They're slipping through my fingers!

@mr_jack_jacob Don't you have an alligator rodeo to get back to, Florida boy

I think about those girls at ACL who asked me and Kameron if Oklahomans live in teepees every day.

Y'all think that Dara O'Brien looks like a narluga? I think so

Mine, boys, mine ev'ry mountain And dig, boys, dig 'til ya drop

Gimme the ole lead casket

@mr_jack_jacob Oh you son of a bitch.

@mr_jack_jacob If I Google this and it's a Noah Kahan lyric I swear 2 God...

Pic of me and my brother building a working monorail in Minecraft rn

I need to go get me one of them Dr. peppys

Me, during the actors/writers strike.

Brevity is the wit of comedy or some shit.

The truth of the matter is that I did buy one of those "texting lingo" posters as a kid, and I DID use it as a dictionary.

Balenciaga models look like they got too many bones in their face