LEGENDARY J.O.E@LegendaryJoe
It is only a matter of time - even those who lost their wives to men who were still in diapers when they were already mega-stars will find elegant ways to heap the blame on the President rather than confront the cracks in their own homes.
Such is the season we are in.
AY is unarguably one of the most decorated comedians this country has ever produced. Yet success and talent are not always twins. We know that if success were apportioned strictly according to wit, brilliance and gifts, AY would struggle in the comedy craft. For if it were talent alone, AY cannot make hyenas laugh.
Many comedians have left behind lines that became proverbs. Others have gifted us jokes that survived the night they were told and became part of popular memory. But what memorable joke, what profound insight, what enduring line readily comes to mind when AY is mentioned?
His life remains a fascinating testimony that in this world, prosperity is not always a certificate of brilliance. Sometimes fortune rides a horse that talent never saddled.
And being a veteran practitioner of mediocrity on stage, how exactly do we expect him to recognize mediocrity when it stands before him?
We have warned - emphatically, consistently, and without ambiguity:
No one should attempt to harvest political or social capital from our collective misfortune.
We should be humane enough not to convert the suffering of our fellow Nigerians into campaign materials.
Have enough conscience not to stake the survival of your brothers and sisters on the altar of partisanship.
And carry enough humanity in your chest not to use national tragedy as the resurrection altar for a dying career.
The vulture does not mourn the dead - it is merely hungry.
It is no coincidence that the loudest mourners over the Oyo incident emerge from a particular political encampment.
Since religious and ethnic bigotry failed to deliver their man to Aso Rock in the last outing - how certain are we that the current tide of insecurity is not downstream of their desperation?
For those who weep the loudest at a funeral they did not expect to attend deserve a second look.
They appear, disturbingly, to be energised by the tragedy. Their enthusiasm for misfortune is almost as conspicuous as their silence during moments of progress.
Nevertheless, our priority remains unchanged.
We will get our family back.
Recent revelations confirm that the animals responsible are no longer at ease. The python that swallows beyond its size soon discovers the weight of its own greed.
The objective is not applause from an impatient mob. The objective is the safe return of every victim. The physician who rushes to impress spectators may end up burying the patient.
We want them back - all of them, safe and whole - and that is precisely why the government will not be stampeded by unintelligent noise into a hasty move.
Not by an excitable mob.
Certainly not by AY. He is never intelligent enough to provoke a rash response.
Good Morning, Severally.
