AEHoopsCentral

Week 7 AEPom:

Per anonymous sources close to the team, UCLA is holding a meeting to discuss their future. Amidst their 0-2 start with a league-worst -18 PD, players are calling for captain Evan Gold’s head, citing that they “wish the worst captain hadn’t drafted them” Trade talks are brewing

Eli Kamins on UNC’s 21-15 win over Miles’s UConn: “They were great. A great first win. Super happy. Miles decided to pass on me for some Chinese-American scrub with CTE. That bum learned.” 😳

TROUBLE IN PARADISE??? In game 1 of the season, Illinois @ Villanova, former Cavalier teammates Yulish and Donovan got into a heated dispute😳 Some are calling this rivalry this year’s Becker and Elliot!

“Jack Lickerman is making an early case for the Noah Becker Sportsmanship Award” -Connor Yoo, fan of the league

Ben Grabow has taken Matthew Seed with his 2nd pick, pairing him with his brother’s former “Bromance of the Year” partnership, Owen Lacy Wichita State is already being called the “Deerfield Park District,” but not by Lacy, because he’s busy “pummeling Sydney Sweeney”

Ole Miss captain Mabel on his selection of Nate Duffy at #2 overall: “Our team is gonna ‘eat up’ the competition” We see what you did there, Jordan!

In a shocking twist, Tergel “Myag-mania” Myagmarsaikhan has fallen out of the first round after most mocks had him going in the top 10. Last year’s “fan favorite” on his draft skid: “Beirut!”

By selecting Owen Lacy with pick 9, Ben Grabow was reportedly paying homage to Noah “Niner” Becker, who won last year’s Sportsmanship Award by enough of a margin to have named after him. He won the award due to his honorable on-court interactions with Elliot Brockstein.

After taking Dylan Brody with the 12th pick in the 1st round, inside sources believe Zach Yulish is purposely trying to make a run at worst team in the league for the second year in a row

FINAL: Warriors 11, Spurs 21

The league is investigating the Spurs’ Yoel Gros for performance enhancing drugs following their 21-15 playoff victory over the Knicks earlier today. “He isn’t good enough at basketball to play as well as he did. I saw him practice football few years ago. Something’s up” -Simon

Final: Thunder 21, Heat 11

Final: Grizzlies 14, Heat 21

Final: Raptors 21, Bulls 11

Final: Magic 8, 76ers 21

“Just gonna show them what we’re about” -League veteran Joshua Kramer ahead of the Raptors win-and-in game against the Bulls Who will clinch a playoff spot? Find out in 5 minutes as the game begins

Final: Lakers 13, Supersonics 21

Final: Warriors 11, Lakers 9

Final: Spurs 12, Grizzlies 21