Ben Foth

When you first get together with a woman, almost any woman, she will dig into your background for any signs of prior weakness: • An ex you loved but who dumped you • A personal failure you never recovered from • How you’d been single and lonely until you met her • That you’re desperate for a serious relationship • That you feel like nobody understands you • Any need you have to cry to her like she’s Mama She will test, poke, prod, and probe, acting thoughtful and sympathetic. But all the while she will be looking to see if you are strong enough to be her man, or if you are weak. Whatever you tell her, whatever rough patches you may have gone through, the final message should always be, “… and I came out solid as a rock because of it.” Just like (almost) no man is looking for a hard, tough, rock-solid woman to be his shield, no woman is looking for a soft, weak, needy man for her to comfort and reassure. If that is what you, as a man, are looking for (i.e., someone to comfort you and reassure you), a romantic relationship with a woman is the wrong place to seek it. You need to call your Mom or get a female friend who can listen to you for that. Or, MUCH BETTER, take up an art and dump all your tragic feelings into it: painting, writing, singing, whatever. (Easy way to spin undesirable emotions into DESIRABLE expression!) Just whatever you do: Do not make some girl who is excited about you because she finally found herself a cool, awesome guy (i.e., you) reconsider that because, as it turns out, “Oh. He is actually needy and weak. Gross..” Be cool. Be strong. Either play off whatever your battle scars, or present them in a way that makes you look stronger and MORE reliable because of them… not less!

Gym crush brought a guy today and the dude outlifts me. I’m starting a cycle of tren.