mischa.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀mischa michael devander. ⠀⠀⠀25+, incharacter. thefalloftroy.carrd.co ⠀⠀⠀cinnamoroll irl. wurtzelesque. drummer.

this will matter mostly to my closest friends. you know who you are & i appreciate you.

i know i’ve learned a lot from the whole experience, i try (& sometimes fail) not to hold it against anyone. i believe in expression. i don’t wanna be a victim to anyone, so im not. the main point was that sometimes vulnerability is weaponized. it shifts dynamics.

before i go to sleep, not that anyone cares, i hope my post doesn’t come off like a call out. like im just expressing something that happened. my own fault, letting it happen, not knowing better. i think the person it happened with wouldn’t do that to someone now.

about what’s going on with you. i’ve learned discernment, not to go overboard with my emotional dependency so truly, the best thing is to like, be as you always are—sweet and friendly like all of my friends are with me. love you guys for real. 🩷

me. i am just a pixel on your screen and i know that, but i appreciate you guys a lot. i know i could show it better, i just dont have a lot to say regarding my feelings that doesnt feel like bombarding & honestly, i like it better when you guys just distract me and tell me

like if i counted how many like, things have happened to me in the past two years alone, that i’ve had to grieve, be it a persons life, an animals life, a relationship, a friendship, a belief—i’d be like at 12-15 of them or more. like im tired!!!!!!

hurt & move on. i don’t wanna hate people that i used to love, that i thought would be in my life for years to come. i just want to accept that they aren’t & let it go, it’s just hard when i lost so much of myself in the process. thanks for reading lol

friendships i didn’t ever intend on losing, through conflict or death. but i’ve also maintained a lot & i’ve gained a lot, i feel really grateful to be able to learn things from my past. i just hope one day i can forgive myself and in turn, find forgiveness for how I’ve been +

thinking about how one of the most fucked up things to happen to me was when i started a relationship with someone, the next day they were completely gone, like ghosted. took forever to hear from them. had to stay chill despite being so anxious, triggered, wondering +

@mayberxmance it’s so good!!!

@crying4444 That’s been on my watchlist for some time! Might finally have to give it a go…

Its a wine, smoke & movie kind of Sunday night… send me down your rec’s.

@crying4444 the type of videos i have on my phone