Jared Smith

The A-10 is a museum piece, a giant gun the pilot rides like a horse. The gun itself, the GAU-8 Avenger, has seven barrels of rotating depleted uranium, longer than a VW Beetle and twice as heavy. It fires 3,900 rounds a minute with a sound like God ripping a bedsheet. This monstrosity is propelled by two 3,000-hp megajets and vestigial wings. When it fires long enough, it stops mid-air. It’s that musky, tobacco-farm, high-T energy—enough chest hair to suffocate a lion. An absolute unit. A plane that instills terror in everything stupid enough to be standing in front of it. It’s a ridiculous contraption that America just can’t quit.

LSU has a live bengal tiger on campus and somehow that's the most normal thing about their athletics department right now

It needs to be said every year... Nobody. Does. Opening. Day. Like. Cincinnati.

THE ROAD TO 162-0 STARTS TODAY. 📈 HAPPY OPENING DAY REDS FANS‼️ #ATOBTTR

💯

It's MLB opening day, so everyone name your favorite baseball conspiracy theory. Randy Johnson saw that bird coming and threw the fastball on purpose.

If I had a gun with 2 bullets, Will Wade, Osama Bin Laden and Hitler in the same room. I’m shooting Will Wade twice.

I’ve seen Habsburg family trees that are less incestuous

I'm really shocked the NYT would publish anything as credulous and wide-eyed as this. The @universityofky must be very happy. It's kind of different from the video President Capilouto put out last week. "Scrooge McDuck" money? nytimes.com/athletic/71451…

Let pitchers hit again.

Ok fine I'm ready for nuclear war

BREAKING — Ser Kylian Mbappé's injury was misdiagnosed after the maester assessed the WRONG LEG after he suffered a contusion. Mbappé, one of the most promising young knights in the realm, fought in THREE MORE TOURNEYS for Real Mereen before the maester realized his error.

the orchestra could overpower the conductor if they really wanted to. it’s fear that holds them back

“You’re an island nation with abundant mineral deposits and nearly limitless coal, uranium, and natural gas but very little oil?” “That’s right, Dave” “And you’re about to have an energy crisis because you have three weeks of petrol reserves?” “That’s correct, Dave”

The typa shit that’s gonna go down in the stands of the Nebraska vs Iowa Sweet 16 game

The Iowa-Nebraska Sweet 16 game will need security like a soccer derby in the Balkans.

Florida please call your office, Iowa is crushing you! #🌽

Georgia is just terrified of imaginary things like Billikens and speed limits.