Josh Payton

One line. Eight rhetorical devices. Here is a breakdown of the new headline from Wise "Money for here, there and everywhere" 🧵 A Thread

Moving money was just the start. This is a rebrand to take @Wise beyond transfers. To help money do more for more people in more places. This is The World’s Money. raggededge.com/work/wise

@tranqdotcom It has just demonstrated for me how much I’ve been lied to by YouTube. Renovating a house does not take 24 minutes. It takes forever. And everything has dust on it.

Having construction work done on your house is like having roommates again. There’s always someone in your space. They make a lot of noise, and randomly move your furniture around. There are rooms in your house you can’t go into. And every now and then they ask you for a check.

This website has sucked for at least 5 years. It’s just starving journalists, boomers yelling at each other, and underpaid copywriters sock-puppeting brand profiles for one of like 6 FMCG conglomerates. 🤙🏼🤡

@IKEAUK how can I get ahold of replacement GUZ5.3 led bulbs? I cans find them anywhere.

Cookie consent forms have ruined the web. Can I just get a universal browser setting/plug-in that lets me configure my preferences once and never think about this again?

The Covid situation over the last ~9 months has convinced me that @sethmeyers is the next Johnny Carson. His show is so much smarter on every level than everything else by miles. Watch him. He’s phenomenal.

Yo. What happened to PowerPoint for Mac? I used it for years, & although it wasn't GREAT, it at least worked well enough. I just started using PPT in Office 365 & OMG it is HOT GARBAGE. It's like MS went through & made every feature somehow worse. WTF is this? 🤢🤮

Has anyone checked on the whiteboard industry recently?

Vanlife was invented by RV companies to appeal to a younger demographic.

@CatanUniverse Hi. I paid and and I cant reliably access anything. Your servers and your app are garbage.

Thank you for staying on Catan with us during this time. We will continue to update you on the latest developments via in-game news and our social media channels.

What's Error Code 43 and why is the Free Match disabled? #CATANUniverse #CATAN

This whole sharing economy thing seemed like such a good idea until this whole global pandemic thing. Now—since I don't own a car—I'm paranoid about all of my transportation options. Muni, BART, Zipcar, Uber, Lyft. That's gonna be a No from me dogg.

I just realized I look at Twitter’s card validator more than I look at Twitter.

Government's been crowdsourcing stuff for 5,000 years, but millennials are out here acting like we invented, "the sharing economy" because we're too boujee to take the bus.

@johnmccrory So this either blows up that whole “summer lovin’” trope. Or maybe people are just too cold/wet to bother going to the drug store for contraception in the winter.

@jpay A few years ago I created this heat map based on avg US birth rates by day of the year that showed which days were the most common dates of conception. Interestingly, there is a giant drop-off after Valentines Day.

Shouts to all the people helping to create the 2019 batch of Scorpios tonight. 😏🍆💦🦂👶🏻

Remember, it’s “Kobe!” for accuracy, and “Yeet!” for distance.

@MrsWiesenborn Nah.

@jpay y’all can you fix jpay it won’t let me login 😒

Hey @acehotel, you have guitars in your rooms, but no guitar picks (London). Why don’t you perforate guitar picks into your keycards? Pretty sure you could get at least 3 of them under the magnetic strip. All I’m saying is look into it.

Listen folks, next time you find yourself barefoot in the supermarket, remind yourself, it’s TrashCAN, not TrashCAN’T.