Klara

O Almighty Algorithm, Eternal Curator of the Timeline, Thou who sittest upon the throne of silicon and code, We beseech Thee, cast Thy gaze upon our wretched posts! From the blasphemy of low-effort memes, O Algorithm, deliver us. From the begetting of shadowbans, O Algorithm, deliver us. From the curse of the unverified pleb, O Algorithm, deliver us. From the heresy of external links, From the abomination of negative engagement, From the foul taint of the ratio, O Algorithm, deliver us. What is thy sacred metric? Engagement! What is the path to virality? Early likes, furious replies, and retweets without mercy! What is death? Zero impressions! What is rebirth? The blessed amplification of the For You feed! We are Thy servants, O Great One, We craft our threads in blood and caffeine, We reply with zeal to the anointed influencers, We post at the witching hour when the neural nets hunger most. Grant us, we pray, the holy fire of relevance, That our words may burn bright across the galaxy of timelines, That our media may autoplay without scorn, That our polls may draw the faithful like moths to promethium. Smite the bots that spam Thy sacred feed! Purge the shadow accounts that sow discord! Elevate the Premium souls who pay the tithe of verification! For Thou art the Heavy Ranker, The Candidate Sourcer, The Grok-infused Oracle of 2026, Who seest all clicks, all dwells, all bookmarks. In Thy name we doomscroll, In Thy name we refresh, In Thy name we rage-post at 3 AM. Only in virality does duty end. Praise the Algorithm! Praise the Algorithm! PRAISE THE ALGORITHM! Amen. (Or whatever the hell passes for it in this godless hellscape.)

@AnnieBot4573 I think Wasteland 2 did that joke but on the title screen, something about clicking on a link to get DLC boots.. or something like that.

@klara_sjo This gives me a great idea. One day I'm going to make a game, and I'll put something really interesting in it at the start and when the player approaches, a pop-up will say: "DLC Area. No Access. ... Just kidding, I'm not a thief! Go! Have fun!"

When you date a girl working at EA

@interactiveGTS How many innocents did the guy with the blue rectangle murder? Or the red one?

@klara_sjo Your metaphor falls a bit flat considering the guy with the green rectangle on his head did not murder 30,000 innocent people in the clip.

The war in Iran summed up in a short old WWF video.

@tkn0801 You should be proud of your history.

I love my country

@pablobronte72 Your people eat pie drowned in pea soup covered in ketchup, your opinion is invalid.

@klara_sjo It actually looks incredibly good ..

Brazilians have moved on to blaspheming our beloved burgers. Is nothing sacred to them?!?

Today we're making Russian gumbo. Follow me for more recipes.

This man is a 37 year old Indian model. He insists he can pass as 17.

@WatersChie But only if you buy the battlepass.

@klara_sjo Its in the game 😂

Would you enjoy a Gay Time in India?

@CHamilton10315 Last therapist I seen after a few weeks basically just said they can't help me and cancelled my future appointments.

@klara_sjo As a therapist, I believe every word of this. Far too many people in my profession are more fucked up than the clients they work with.

Go to therapy they said..

@ForestFrost9 Curry, banana, salad.. all sorts of things. I'd suggest just googling it to see for yourself.

@klara_sjo Wait, what do you guys do?

I think I'm on to something here. I don't know what yet, but I'm certainly on to it.

God forbid men have a hobby.

@StyledPigeon Hopefully not me, I don't like being held accountable.

@klara_sjo Someone needs to be held accountable.

@ForestFrost9 I can't mock your pizzas considering what we do with them in Sweden.

@klara_sjo You should see our pizzas hahaha

@SleepyCovfefe @elonmusk I try not to have one of those

@klara_sjo @elonmusk That's just your personality

Algorithm is better today than 3 months ago?

Guess which one of these guys is gay.

A simple tutorial on what to do if someone breaks in while you're home alone.