Miranda

making a mocha at home is like micro dosing whimsy

January 1st: anything is possible January 2nd: but not today

today’s the only day you can share this

For sale: ship of theseus Condition: used, like new

“Bluey” as a top section on Hot Topic’s website? We used to be a society.

It was in that moment—when the screen time app, with its stern little reminder, refused to let me open Instagram—that I found myself asking the kind of question we all secretly wonder about. Is anything, really, important?

unusually and blonde exceedingly peculiar and altogether quite impossible to describe

😭

Nervous system? OF COURSE my system’s nervous!

Nervous.

Hi! My new book, Everything Is Tuberculosis, comes out March 18th. I'm signing 100,000 copies of it. You can preorder your signed copy today at everythingistb.com or wherever books are sold.

Anotha one 🐈‍⬛

Better to admit you walked into the wrong door rather than spend your life in the wrong room

Working hard today

it’s almost that time of the year again

How tired are you if you brew the nespresso machine without putting a mug down 😵‍💫

nobody will remember: - Your salary - How “busy you were” - How many hours you worked People will remember: - What are you doing? - Living at your grandparents' place? - Being in the DAR? - No Yale - Why did you drop out of Yale?

i love ‘emily in paris’!

My body is map of the places I could’ve done better (I’m sunburnt)

Jess is so brat