If I have to remember my login for anything else that's it hoes I'm walking into the sea never to return.
English
Mary Tilden
2.5K posts
Mary Tilden
@mtild
Actor. Writer. Comedian. Queer. 🏳️🌈 she/they pronouns BLACK LIVES MATTER
Chicago, IL Entrou em Mart 2009
0 Seguindo472 Seguidores
Mary Tilden retweetou
maybe leonardo dicaprio hated 9/11 so much that he can’t even date women who remember it. did that even occur to you
English
Mary Tilden retweetou
I don't agree with the reverse cowgirl position. Woman should face their problems.
English
When I wake up and get to rip my retainer out of my mouth I feel so accomplished knowing I’ve spent yet another LONG night keeping my teeth from running away.
English
You can really get a sense of someone’s self confidence by how they say “mozzarella”.
English
I don’t know how to have casual sex. Every time I try to recruit a friend with benefits it ends up just being a weird “friend with feelings” situation where we don’t have sex but we do both feel a little bit sad that we haven’t quite found our soul mate.
English
You ever feel like there is never enough time in the world to write all the thank you notes and letters I want to write to my friends?
English
Damn @AbbyWambach I’m glad I live in a world where you exist. Seriously. This rocked.
Abby Wambach@AbbyWambach
Days after the SCOTUS Roe v. Wade leak, I gave this speech to the 2022 graduates of @LoyolaMarymount, a Catholic University. I was scared, but spoke for my little Catholic gay girl self. What happens at the end gave me hope. I hope it brings you hope too: bit.ly/3yBzFA8
English
Who here still has the quadratic formula memorized specifically from singing it to the tune of “pop goes the weasel” in middle / early high school?
Just me?
English
Well now that I’ve seen it, I’m useless too.
kay@tobinmindpalace
how am I supposed to work all day knowing that she’s out there looking like this 😵💫
English
The fact that Chani Nicholas, queen of millennial astrology, is married to an Aquarius really makes me feel like that gives Aquarians more street cred as a sign.
..Is this an Aquarian type thing to think? Perhaps.
Chani Nicholas@chaninicholas
My wife, an Aquarius, was invited to the White House this week and when I asked her if she took any pictures she replied, “For what?”
English
I can’t tell if I’m sleepy from having COVID or sleepy from having depression, but either way the answer is to take a nap I guess. 🤷🏻♀️
English
I start every days Wordle with a very gay word and go from there. butch, femme, pu$$y, queer, d*kes- it’s liberating to know no matter where this ends up…it started out gay. 🤗
English
Definitely just developed a lil crush on the woman on my health insurance’s customer support line. She had the best voice?? Its worthy of a Craigslist missed connections post but I don’t think that exists anymore!
English
@kirbsxoxo I know! Your dream reminded me to post about my dream hahaha
English
Had a dream last night that my ex got an entire body tattoo that was a blue dolphin and will someone please interpret this for me does it mean we are getting back together or not
English