Swear Clock

This account no longer posts every hour because Elon Musk limited the API to 16 or so posts a day. It now posts every other hour. If you want an hourly time check with swears - then you'll need to go a website run by someone who isn't a prick. bsky.app/profile/swearc…

Your Mum Gives Handjobs For Cigarettes And Blowjobs For A Lighter It's 6:00PM

Drinking Michael Gove's Enema It's 4:00PM

Gangrenous Dick It's 2:00PM

Throw My Cock In The Air And Yell "Helicopter!" It's 12:00PM

Teabag My Face It's 10:00AM

Tuna Labyrinth! It's 8:00AM

Wanking In Zero Gravity It's 6:00AM

God Save The Quim, A Fanny Regime It's 4:00AM

Take Me To Your Leader. But First, Earthlings, Show Me Your Gigantic Big Veiny Spurting Baby-Makers It's 2:00AM

Little Lord Fauntleroy With A Fucking Cactus Up His Arse It's 12:00AM

Jizz Drops O'clock It's 10:00PM

Dress Up Like Wilma Flintstone And Stroke My Throbber It's 8:00PM

Fuck My Shit Box It's 6:00PM

Smear Tom Cruise With Bovril It's 4:00PM

Slobber On My Mumvelope It's 2:00PM

Eating A Double Vindaloo With Dodgy Mutton To Sort Out Thames Water's Fatbergs It's 12:00PM

Mash Your Shit Into A Cup And Slurp It It's 10:00AM

I've Done The Market Research And Men Don't Wash Their Hands After Having A Wee It's 8:00AM

Lube My Bum With Tiger Balm And Slide The Creme Egg In It's 6:00AM

Time For A Rusty Trombone It's 4:00AM