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#BREH 😅😅😅

@linguinegrl224 that sums it up

@613glizzy “wow this is a really nice shade of GREY…right?”

i’m painting a lady’s house and have yet to tell her I am colorblind. conversation is getting trickier and trickier but i think i have her fooled. there’s no room for honesty now. i am in too deep.

HUSBANDS: Want to bond more w/your wife? I’ll mentor you 1-1 . I went from nearly divorced to happily married for 17+ years with 5 kids. DM me “bond” for details

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baaaabe let’s reach CRAFT tonighttt

when I was 8 my parents sat me down and told me Santa 🤪🔫 himself

you guys ever find that pants have WAY too much room in the crotchal region these days?

Under-the-radar bit about last night: Toronto just elected a mayor without a driver's license. In a city that's had its past decade shaped by driver culture, that elected Rob Ford based off his moaning about the "war on cars", this is a truly seismic shift.

she play with my mind i play with her hair

@sorrysnowstan hahaha yaa so true

i am immune to your mind games because i am too STUPID to understand you

@kobo_ereader_bf aOOOGA

you aren’t an ally if you don’t donate $2 everyday at the LCBO

they haven’t even given me my degree yet and they’re preaching the alumni association

this is the best a bunch of CS kids have ever smelled

never mind

i’m the hottest person on this bus