BigKidProblems

I’m at the age now where I can do a daytime activity or a nighttime activity but I can’t, under any circumstance, do both.

One day you’re young and carefree and the next your entire feed is about perimenopause

One day you’re young and hot and the next you’re being served targeted ads for neck pillows

“We made it to Spring”

Foreplay when you’re dating: flowers + a romantic night out Foreplay when you’re married: “I turned your car on for you to get the heat going. It’s freezing out there”

Foreplay when you’re dating: flowers + a romantic night out Foreplay when you’re married: “I turned you’re car on for you to get the heat going, it’s freezing out there”

Convos with the girlies in our 20’s: “Wait have you heard from Brad after your date?!” Convos with the girlies now: “So as we all know, the moon landing was BS and aliens are real”

And for my next trick, I’ll take this seemingly unnoticeable pimple and turn it into a giant open wound on my face

Coffee has water in it. Follow me for more health & wellness tips

The clocks go back this weekend, hopefully to a time we feel fly like a G6, like a G6

I put the hot in psychotic

Quick show of hands: where are my people whose parents never gave them money for the scholastic book fair and what antidepressant are you on?

Sunday in your 20’s: let’s wake up late and meet the crew for boozy brunch! Sunday now: if I start early and stay focused, I may be able to get all the laundry done

Feeling indulgent, might treat myself to a nice cry

“I’m having the time of my life” I muse as I peruse the aisles of my local TJ Maxx

“it’s so cringe when people treat their dogs like their children” *me after singing my dogs’ custom daily morning song* yea totally

It’s weird to me that curling is an Olympic sport but getting two kids dressed, out of the house, and buckled into car seats isn’t

“Where would you like us to send your tax documents?” straight to hell, thx

For anyone who says “nothing tastes as good as skinny feels” have you ever had a buffalo chicken dip?

When me and the girls get together

How much sour cream I put in my chili is between me and god