Caleb Dilley

Got $1.72 in the bank account and totaled my car this morning. 2021 lookin up 🙌🏼

i hate cutting oranges at a bar bc it only gets used once, in a blue moon

The ❌ spent 25 years on top of Xcel Energy Center. Now she's in my front yard, ready to celebrate every @mnwild goal this playoffs. (I made some upgrades) GO WILD. Beat the Stars! Norm Green Sucks

Before google maps you just had a buddy in another car who said “follow me” then proceeded to run a late yellow at the next intersection.

the wife of a deceased podcaster was unavailable to attend our event tonight. please join me in welcoming our backup option for this evening: the vice president of the united states of america

Me watching Langdon save that man’s life #ThePitt

the pitt: we’re going to explore the ugly, uncomfortable sides of mental health through robby to challenge the audience’s empathy pittwt: robbie sucks

ah fuck = “lol whoops” oh fuck = “i’ve made an irreversible, fatal error”

why do men and women have different shoe sizes It’s just size it’s just a measurement it should all be the same like “oH iT’s 10am GuY TiMe 12pm lAdY tiME” shut up and fuck trump and fuck ice too

The wild, when barely hanging on to a wildcard slot: oh no we have to play the Avs or the stars in the first round :(( The wild, after never falling out of the top 5 since November: oh no we have to play the Avs or the stars in the first round :((

My 3yo just took a single bite of his sandwich then slammed his apple juice and said “I’m going to go get some work done” and proceeded to run into the living room and start building with his magnatiles.

Brock Faber was handing out Zyns to everyone at E11EVEN last night 😂

Quinn Hughes is ready for an ALL-TIME bender

3yo does this thing now when we’re leaving a playground etc where he acts willing to leave, but then starts walking backwards with eyes wide, saying “it’s pulling me back! It’s pulling me back!” Great bit. Didn’t know he was capable of bits yet.

NBC ran a piece where Mary Carrillo went to Norway to see why they're so good at the Winter Olympics & i was yelling BC IT'S COLD THERE then she went to a little ski jump for kids & was like "it's free, equipment is provided, & they don't emphasize results" and i was like. oh!

Ever chuckle when you hear the Tkachuks chirping? Quinn Hughes: "Sometimes you hear some funny stuff out there, but yeah ... as the people say, I'm usually seeing ghosts, so I'm usually focused on myself."

When I'm having fun on a Sunday and it reaches 6-7pm

If leftists will only vote for a good candidate, but liberals will vote blue no matter who, then Democrats should simply pick a blue candidate who is good and receive both votes.

how it feels as an adult to revisit the classic books and poems you were taught in class now with fresh eyes and life experience: