— 𝑶𝑳𝑰𝑽𝑬𝑹 .

what was my entire being? an enormous， useless yearning.

⠀ tending to the 𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗗𝗘𝗥𝗦 wound, “ hold still. ” ⠀

all the world blurred，a vibrating hemorrhage，and it was fine because i could finally feel how little impact i'd ever have on the world. losing that dread that 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐲 you'll somehow ruin everything，for yourself and everyone else.

you want to save the world? you can't even save yourself.

how 𝐜𝐨𝐨𝐥 would it have been to live back when the wind and birds and avalanches sounded like 𝚋𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚜𝚊𝚋𝚋𝚊𝚝𝚑，and killing gave people these huge fucking hard-ons?

this can't go on, something's got to give.

he endured it to 𝐩𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐡 himself，and to prove to himself that he could; those were the only two reasons he ever chose to do anything worthwhile.